His Negotiation
by Liv Cassidy
Summary: One of your post-"Her Negotiation" fics. Brian knew Olivia wasn't happy, and he was terrified of losing her forever. He was on his way to reconcile with her when he came face-to-face with a man he'll soon know as "The Beast." Little did Brian know of the life-altering events to follow.
1. Brian's Mistake

"**His Negotiation"**

**Author's Note: Just one of your post-Her Negotiation stories. Starts off a little before Her Negotiation ends, because I know we're all wondering how the hell The Beast entered Olivia's apartment, so I'm offering this as an option. By the way, I was NOT happy with how the writers portrayed Brian in the ONE scene we got with him. So, I would like to take an opportunity to make Brian look like a little less of an ass. Oh, just so you know, Elliot will NOT be making an appearance in this story. There will be enough of "Elliot resurrecting from the grave to save Liv" stories, I'm sure. We all know it's not going to happen, and I'm officially sick of Elliot and those who are begging for him to return on Twitter and Facebook.**

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Chapter 1 - Brian's Mistake

He was losing her. His worst fears were about to become a reality, and he knew it. Brian's thoughts raced as he approached Olivia's apartment door. He hadn't spoken to his girlfriend – if she was still his girlfriend – in two weeks. It was the longest they'd gone without speaking since their relationship's beginnings. He understood that her cases could get very heavy, and he'd gone a week and a half without hearing from her. He didn't want to pester her, because he knew that she didn't like when he called her when she was working; especially now that the entire squad knew that they were a couple. She'd told him that Nick was always making snide remarks. Plus, Brian knew that she was upset with him when she was last called into work. They'd been at the sports bar watching the Mets, and his attention had been entirely on the game. Olivia wasn't a fan of sports, and he knew it. What had he done? If only he had paid more attention to her.

His dream had finally become a reality. For fourteen years, she had haunted his dreams. He had dwelt on the fact that he wasn't good enough for her. He wanted nothing more than to know why. Then, out of the blue, Olivia Benson had re-entered his life, and she was more beautiful than before. This time, things were different. She appeared to show a genuine interest in him, yet he continued to screw up. Now, unless he could win her back, he knew this time he might lose her forever.

After his trial, even though he was proven innocent, their relationship had been branded. He feared the scar was only delving deeper. He feared she didn't trust him, and she was waiting for the right moment to leave him once and for all. In the beginning, she was calling and text him at least three times a week. She always had a smile on her face, and he felt as if she truly enjoyed his company. Now, even when they were together she didn't seem happy. She seemed to take a disinterest in the activities they'd always done together. Then, when he had suggested she meet his mom, all Hell had broken loose. After all, they had been dating consistently for nine months, and she still had not met his mother. He'd brought it up several times, though she would always make excuses as to why she couldn't. She had to work. She had a hair appointment in the morning. She didn't want to scare her. Their relationship wasn't serious enough. The list was endless. The last excuse was the one bothered him the most. He didn't understand that status of their relationship. She was the only one he had been with for nine months, and he was pretty certain that he was the only one she'd been with. So, what was the hold up?

He understood that she'd been hurt in the past, as had he; so they both had agreed to take it slow in the beginning. After nine months, he wanted more. Yet, he was horrible at showing her his feelings. He'd let her see sides of him that no one had seen before. She'd seen him at his worst when he was accused of rape. He was awful at expressing his feelings to her. In his heart, he knew that she was the only woman he'd ever loved; though he didn't know how to tell her. Neither of them had used the "l" word, and it was absolutely killing him. He wanted to tell her that he loved her so bad, though he didn't know how she would react. The last thing he wanted to do was say it and then have her freak out. The thought of losing her tormented him, and it was causing a serious dent in their relationship. He was always screwing up. Why hadn't he just said yes to the museum? There was a Mets game that afternoon and he didn't want to risk missing it. He knew he was being selfish. He also knew that if he did not change fast, he was going to lose her permanently. Then, his life wouldn't be worth living. After coming out from his undercover operations, Olivia and his mom were honestly all Brian Cassidy had left.

Brian knew that Olivia instilled some trust in him. Otherwise, he wouldn't have a key to her apartment. He figured she was busy at work, but he made sure to knock first. When she didn't answer, he took her apartment key from his pocket. He hoped she would be home soon so they could talk. He would often wait for her to get off work at her apartment. He'd surprised her on multiple occasions, and she didn't seem to mind.

He had just inserted the key into Olivia's apartment door when he was alarmed by a man standing behind him. He hadn't turned the door knob yet as he turned his head and observed the man. Brian had never seen this man before. The man was tall and lengthy, a good three inches taller than Brian. He man smirked at Brian, seeming to be observing him from head to toe. His smirk was almost eerie. Brian's nerve endings tingled, though he wasn't scared. He'd dealt with plenty of creeps during his undercover years.

"May I help you?" Brian inquired to the stranger. Perhaps he was just lost, Brian wondered.

The man grinned from ear to ear, showing off his white pearly teeth.

"Is this Detective Benson's apartment?" the man asked. Brian widened his eyes. Apparently the man was not lost. Brian Cassidy was officially confused. Had Olivia really been seeing other men? Though, if this was a boyfriend of Olivia's, surely he would know this was her apartment. Also, if he were a boyfriend, he wouldn't refer to her as "Detective Benson." Brian only called her "Detective" when he was trying to seduce her.

"This is," he answered with hesitance. There was still something off about this man. Brian couldn't quite point his finger on it. "Who are you?"

"Well, I was hoping she could help me out with something," the man said. Was he one of her witnesses? Perhaps he himself was a victim? Still, why would he be at her apartment? Brian's mind was boggled. "Who are you?"

"I'm her boyfriend," Brian was quick to announce. "Now, tell me, who are you? Maybe I can help you, because I don't know when she'll be home."

The man's eyes enlarged. "I didn't know she had a boyfriend," he responded. "Well, how about you let me in, and we can talk?"

Brian landed his hand on the door knob and hesitated for a moment. He opened the door and let the man into the apartment. The room apartment was dark, and the empty wine glasses that had been on the living room table the last time he had been inside the apartment were still there. It looked like Olivia hadn't been home since she'd left him at the sports bar. And if she had, she hadn't been there for long. That had to mean she was working a major case.

The door closed behind the two men, and Brian turned to the stranger whom he'd just let into his girlfriend's apartment. "So, can you at least tell me your name?"

"Oh, that doesn't matter," the man, whom Brian would soon learn was nicknamed "The Beast" for a reason, responded. And that's when everything changed. Brian's heart fell as the man flung out a gun and pointed it at Brian's head. He tackled Brian with his strong arm. Brian trembled and tried to force his strength against the Beast, but the Beast had too strong of a grip on Brian. The Beast dragged Brian Cassidy into the bedroom and slammed him against the wall, causing the lamp on Olivia's dresser to fall to the ground and shatter. The Beast slammed Brian's head into the ground and tied Brian's hands and legs together. Brian tried to scream, but the Beast forced his weight upon Brian so his screams were only muffled into the carpet. No one would hear him. Then, the Beast duct taped Brian's mouth. Brian closed his eyes as his nostrils flared, and he forced himself to breathe through his nose. His heart was racing faster and faster. Who was this man? And what did he want with Olivia?

"So, boyfriend, you're in for quite a show tonight," The Beast said as he kicked Brian in the crotch, the excruciating pain throbbed through his body. That's when he saw the knife in the Beast's hand. Brian swallowed hard. "Oh, I'll save this for later, when your girly friend is here to join us." The Beast cackled and that's when Brian heard the key in the doorknob.

"No! Leave, Liv!" he tried to scream, but his words were transformed merely to muffles due the duct tape.

"Looks like the final party guest is here. Just in time," the Beast sneered, and Brian nervously watched as the Beast slowly disappeared through the door.

"Hello?" he heard Olivia say. Brian tried to shout to her to go away while she still could, but it was no use. He fidgeted, trying to loosen the rope, but the rope was tied too tight. The rope dug into his wrists, putrefying his wrists with rope burn.

"Welcome home, Detective Benson," the Beast's voice traveled through the room, and he listened as Olivia's breathing loudened, and he eventually he heard a loud, piercing scream, as the Beast forced her into the bedroom.


	2. His Negotiation

**Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews! Also, thanks for Bellatrix Wannabe 89 for pushing me to update and conversing ideas with me!**

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Olivia dwelt languidly on the past two weeks as she inserted her key into her apartment door knob. She clenched her grocery bags tight in her hand. Cragen had sent her home to and foodless apartment. If she was going to survive for two days, she needed something to eat.

It had been two weeks in Hell. Of course it had all started with another depressing Sunday, where she spent the day with Brian watching the Mets game. She'd come to the conclusion that all Brian cared about was sports. She, on the other hand, preferred to spice it up. She wasn't getting any younger, and she was getting to the point she wanted to live her life while she was still young enough to enjoy life. Brian wasn't into "spicing things up," and that's what made them two very different people.

She'd been alone for so many years. She loved having someone to hold her and snuggle close to at night. Brian and she had shared many of the same life experiences. Both had dedicated their lives to their careers. Neither was experienced in the relationship arena, and both had been hurt countless times in the past. Overall, Olivia felt they were a good fit. They just lacked common interests.

She knew that he was a man, and she was silly to think he would rather go to an art museum with her than watch a baseball game. It was the simple thought that counted, though. She believed he cared about her, though sometimes she wondered. She knew that he struggled with expressing himself. That was another common trait she'd noticed most men seemed to have.

She didn't know what to do. She was terrified of being alone, but if things didn't change soon; she knew that she couldn't stay with Brian and keep her sanity. In the beginning, she'd been so happy. They'd spent hours upon hours making love. She'd felt so safe and secure with Brian. Things seemed to change after Brian was accused of rape. Brian had become withdrawn from her. They had sex less and less, and when they were together; he spent more time watching television than talking to her. Things hadn't been the same. When she tried to bring up the trial, he was quick to change the subject. He wouldn't talk about it. She'd told him time and time again that she trusted him, but he acted as though he didn't believe her. That alone pissed her off. Because that alone meant that he didn't trust her to tell him the truth. If she didn't trust him, then why the hell would he have her apartment keys? If she didn't trust him, she wouldn't have stayed with him after the trial and during the trial. She wouldn't have supported him and busted her neck out to prove him innocent. She'd believed him from day one, and she just wished he could see that.

Pushing her thoughts about Brian to the back of her head, she turned the doorknob and entered her dark, lonely apartment. She heaved a sigh, knowing she could call Brian. She knew they needed to talk, but she'd tried so many times. Was anything really worth her efforts anymore? She was beginning to think not.

She'd thought they'd nailed him. William Lewis was going to receive the punishments he deserved for torturing an old lady. Then, of course, their entire case had crashed after Alice died of a heart attack. Now, William was out on bail, and there was nothing she or anyone else could do about it.

She flipped the light switch and set her grocery bags on the table. That's when she flinched. Were those footsteps? Had Brian stopped over? Though, if Brian were here, the lights would be on. Usually when Brian surprised her, Olivia would find him sitting in front of the television. Her body reacted to her unsettling instincts. _It's nothing, _she told herself, understanding that she was just on edge because of all that was going on.

"Hello?" she called, taking a few steps into the dark and eerie kitchen. She heard another stir. Her heart pounded viciously against her chest. Her veins throbbed heavily. Someone was in her apartment. Suddenly, she felt lightheaded. Her head was spinning and her thoughts wouldn't line up.

Her heart lurched into her stomach as William Lewis appeared from thin air, pointed a gun at her head and then punched her in the stomach. He tackled her and sneered, "Welcome home, Detective Benson." He clasped his hand over her mouth so she couldn't respond. Her stomach burned and she began sweating profusely. Where the fuck was her gun? It wasn't on her. She must have left it in her drawer at work. Cragen had sent her home for two days, so she hadn't anticipated she'd need it. During her early years as a detective, she always carried a gun on her. She had never known when she'd need it, and she always exercised her privilege as an officer to carry a weapon whenever she pleased. Times had changed, and guns were not toys. As she'd been around longer, she rarely carried her gun on her when she was off duty unless she felt threatened. Lewis was a creep, but he'd never given her any indication that he would go after her. How the fuck was she supposed to know that Lewis would target her next? He'd thrown plenty of accusations at her, but she never foresaw this. _There's no victim, _she'd ironically verbalized earlier. _Nice going, Benson, _she told herself. _Now, you might have your victim. _Olivia shivered at the thought, thinking of all the times she'd put herself in dangerous situations while undercover. This time was different. One, she wasn't undercover. Two, Cragen had told her to go to her apartment for two days. Her apartment wasn't wired. No one would burst in to save her just as Lewis was about to inflict real harm.

This wasn't happening. _It's just a bad dream, _she tried to convince herself, and Olivia closed her eyes as Lewis dragged her into her dark bedroom. She tried to force her weight against him to escape, but he was eight inches taller than she was and a good decade younger. His strength was too much for her.

"Please," she pleaded as he threw her on the bed. The room was still dark, so had yet to see her surroundings. Lewis didn't reply. "It doesn't have to be like this, Lewis. Can't we just talk this out?"

"Oh, we'll be doing plenty of talking tonight," Lewis whispered creepily. That's when he flipped the light switch on and the room lit up. Olivia's eyes widened when she saw the man in the corner of her room.

"Bri, what are you doing here! Oh, God…" Olivia shrieked in sheer panic as she saw that Lewis had tied Brian's arms and legs with rope. His mouth was duct taped, so he couldn't speak, and his eyes were wet from the tears streaming down his face. Olivia realized she couldn't remember having seen Brian cry before.

"Didn't Boyfriend tell you? He invited me over to join your little fiesta," The Beast told her. Brian immediately shook his head, and Olivia knew that Lewis was lying. Olivia tried to sit up, since Lewis was standing near the door way. She edged closer to the bed. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Detective?" Lewis edged closer to her and clasped his hands around Olivia. She squirmed, trying to release herself from his strong grip.

"Let…me…go…" she gasped, and then his large, burnt hands strangled her neck. She couldn't breathe. She choked, trying to gasp for air as he pressed her against the head of the bed. Her vision was dimming and her head throbbed as her blood flow was cut off. He let go of her neck and then she saw the rope. She swallowed. "You don't have to do this, Lewis. Please, you've just been released…you could be a free man. After all, we have no witnesses. If you let me go, you—me—we can pretend this never happened, and you'll live your life a free man. If you do this to me, well, you're never gonna get away with it…there's no way out."

"Shut up!" Lewis snapped, and she winced at his snarky grin. He sat on top her knees as she continued to squirm and tried to kick him, but she couldn't get a good angle on him. He began tying her wrists to the bed. "You think that I'm foolish enough to leave evidence behind? Detective, I played you once. I reckon I'll be able to do it again. Some 'detective' you are, eh?" He slapped her across the face and then tied her ankles to the bed post. She shook her arms and legs, trying to break the rope, but it was tied too tight. "Now that I've got you both under my wing, the fun can begin."

His eyes shined with delight like a little boy who had just been given a big ice cream cone. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of Camel cigarettes. Olivia recognized the box all-too well, because it was the same brand Brian smoked. She hated his smoking so much, and he knew it. He'd actually stopped completely before the trial, and then afterward he'd started smoking again. At first he'd tried to hide it from her, but she wasn't a fool. She could smell cigarette smoke from a mile away.

Olivia's stomach lurched, remembering the horrible, awful things Lewis had done to Alice.

"Please…" she begged. "Please, don't do this."

He snickered, and walked over toward Brian, dug his nails into the duct tape on Brian's mouth and ripped the tape off Brian's lips. "Ouch!" Brian groaned, licking his lips. "Fuck you, dickhead. Liv, who the fuck is this asshole? What the fuck is going on?"

"His name is William Lewis," Olivia explained, tears flowed in a stream from her eyes. "He's the one Amanda picked up two Sundays ago, when I left you watching the Mets."

"Dude, who the fuck do you think you're playing? Assaulting a detective in her home? That's gonna get you real far in life, man."

"You see, I really don't care what you have to say, _Boyfriend_. This was originally supposed to be a twosome, but then you were here when I got here. You know what I say, the more the merrier." Lewis sneered, pulling out his lighter and lighting the cigarette in his hand. "I want you to watch as I play with Mrs. Detective here."

"Don't you DARE touch her, asswipe!" Brian growled like a vicious dog, and Olivia's heart warmed for just a moment. Brian did have a good heart. "I'll—"

"You'll what? Looks like you're a little tied up right now to me, so there's nothing you really can do, buddy. However, you're more than welcome to watch. Well, it's not like you have much of a choice, either way." Lewis placed the cigarette in between his fingers and edged closer to Olivia. He grinned widely as his hands landed over her blouse. Olivia's stomach twisted and turned as Lewis started to unbutton her blouse.

"Please… don't…" she mouthed.

He cackled, removing her shirt and bra, and she shivered as the cold air touched her exposed skin. Humiliation hit her at once. Lewis wasn't supposed to see her like this. Her head throbbed, flashing back to that event nearly five years ago that had changed her life forever. _"STOP!" she pleaded as he slammed her against the wall. _It was the closest she'd ever come to being raped. That moment had changed her life forever. The triggers of violence continued to flash through her head. Of course, Fin had saved her last time. This time, she feared she would not be able to escape her attacker. Cragen had sent her home for two days, so no one would be looking for her for two days. _How long did Lewis torture Alice? Nineteen hours? _Olivia knew she wouldn't be able to survive nineteen hours of torture.

_Please, just kill me now, _she wanted to plea, but she didn't for Brian's sake.

"Don't worry, you won't be cold for long," he smiled as he lit the cigarette in his hand. The stench of the smoke flared her nostrils and she began coughing. This was the reason she never allowed Brian to smoke around her. Her lungs couldn't handle it.

"This is a smoke-free apartment," she felt inclined to point out.

"And does it look like I give two fucks?" he laughed, smoking a puff of the cigarette, and then handing the cigarette to Brian. "Wanna take a puff for your lady?"

"Bite me," Brian snarled.

"Oh, sorry, that's the kind of fun I only have with the ladies," Lewis remarked, taking the cigarette from Brian and edging closer to Olivia's breasts. "Ready for some fun?"

"STOP!" Brian bellowed loudly as the cigarette was just inches away from touching Olivia's breast. "Please! Don't hurt her. Take me instead of her. Please, I'll do anything you want if you just let Liv go." Lewis slowly turned toward Brian. "Just let her go," Brian whispered softly with a tear in his eye. "Torture me until your heart is content." He turned to Liv. "I'm sorry I haven't been a good boyfriend lately. I've been a selfish dick. I just can't stand to see you in pain. I love you, Olivia Benson, with all my heart and soul; and I'd do anything for you—even if it means giving you my own life. I'd rather die for you than live without you."


	3. His Eyes

"Oh, Bri," Liv whispered so quietly. Her voice was so soft and gentle. Brian listened tentatively as she sobbed harder. He didn't know if she was sobbing because of the words he'd just spoken, or because of the fact that a cigarette was just inches away from burning her sensitive breast tissue.

He'd chosen one hell of a time to pour his feelings out to her, but Brian couldn't bear to watch his love be tortured by this monstrous beast. He couldn't possibly know what she was thinking. He certainly didn't expect her to respond, or to say that she loved him back. The pit of his stomach ached as Lewis turned toward Brian, merely cackling.

"Well, well, well, isn't that the sweetest thing I've ever heard!" Lewis carelessly waved the cigarette over Olivia, creating a trail of smoke above the bed. Brian knew how much Olivia hated cigarette smoke. She refused to kiss him if she suspected that he'd been smoking. Brian, admittedly, smoked to relieve his stress. Olivia had begged him to quit when they'd first started dating, so he'd made every effort to satisfy her. He'd started taking Nicorette and had managed to cut cigarettes out of his life completely for several months. Quitting smoking had saved hundreds in his pocket book. Then, everything he had worked for had crashed when that woman accused him of rape. He'd started smoking again. Of course, he'd tried to hide it from Liv, but he should have known better. She could smell cigarette smoke from miles away.

Liv was coughing heavily as the smoke touched her lungs. Then, Lewis took a few steps towards Brian wearing a devilish grin on his face.

"Just take me," Brian mouthed. "Torture me, please."

"Tell me," Lewis began as he raised an eyebrow. "Where's the fun in that? Why would I torture someone who is asking me to torture them? Besides, I think you're a much better audience than a subject. Don't worry. I'll still have a little fun with you too. Wouldn't want you to feel left out," William Lewis winked, and quickly returned to Olivia's bedside. Brian felt his stomach drop as he watched Lewis delve the cigarette bud into his girlfriend's breast. Olivia released loud piercing shriek.

"NO! STOP, YOU FUCKING BEAST!" Brian yelled, but Lewis continued to dig the cigarette into Olivia's soft, sensitive skin. Brian shook his hands and legs, trying to loosen the rope and break free to rescue Liv, but the rope was too tight. Sympathy pains ached in his chest for Olivia. Brian pictured her perfect breasts. He thought of all the times he'd held her soft breasts in his hands. He imagined running his thumb around her pink flesh, and touching her hard nipples. Breast massages were a favorite of hers. She'd told him countless times that he was the only one who'd known how to give her a proper massage.

"Shut it, Boyfriend," Lewis snarled. "Don't make me get the duct tape back out."

_This can't be happening, _he told himself. _This has to be a bad nightmare. _Where were Olivia's neighbors? Surely, her shrieks could be heard through the apartment walls. He knew this because he could always hear noises from her neighbors' apartments. You hear screaming and shrieking coming from your neighbor's apartment, and you wouldn't go check to see if they were okay? Something wasn't right here.

Lewis continued to laugh as he branded Olivia's breasts. Then, he lit another cigarette, and Brian's eyes widened with disbelief of what Lewis did next.

"Time to take a puff, bitch," Lewis snarled, forcing the bud into Olivia's mouth, causing her to choke. "Inhale, Detective." Brian knew that Olivia had never tried a cigarette in her life. He could see Olivia's face redden as Lewis held the cigarette in her mouth and the smoke rose from the bud. When he removed the cigarette from her mouth, she began spitting and clearing her throat. She began gagging as the after taste settled in her throat.

"Please," she pleaded hoarsely with her attacker.

He chuckled. "You want more? Don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from," he said then took his own puff of the cigarette, and he proceeded the cigarette back into her mouth. This time, she didn't fight, and she inhaled the smoke from the cigarette. Lewis continued to force Olivia to smoke with him until the cigarette was finished burning.

Olivia's hard coughs were loud and painful sounding as the smoke entered her lungs. Brian felt as though he was dying inside. He was so helpless. He couldn't save Olivia. Lewis watched as Brian squirmed, still trying to loosen the rope. Lewis grabbed more rope and lashed toward Brian. He tied more rope around Brian's legs, and then Brian's heart began to race as Lewis tied the rope around Brian's neck. Brian gagged as Lewis pulled tighter and the oxygen was cut from his brain. _Stop_, he tried to cry, but Brian was unable to speak. Was this really how he was going to die?

Just as all was almost black, Lewis released the rope from Brian's neck. The rope burn tingled against his neck as the blood flow returned to his brain. Slowly, his sight returned. His head throbbed as the blood poured throughout his body.

"Did you really think I was going to kill you already? There's still so much more for you to see," Lewis cackled, kicking Brian in the back. The endless pain severely trickled up his spine. Brian could tell Lewis was enjoying himself a little too much.

That's when Brian saw Lewis begin to unbutton his pants. _No, he isn't, _Brian thought. _He's not about to rape her. _Brian hated himself. How had he allowed this horrible best to overpower him? Why hadn't he fought harder? He could not allow him to rape her. Brian was using all his muscle in an attempt to break free from the rope. He was too weak. Too powerless. Too pathetic. Too worthless. Olivia was better off without him. What was Olivia thinking when she'd kissed him in the hospital? What was she thinking when she'd asked him out? She should have stayed away from him. She should have gone with her first instinct about him. She'd made the right choice fourteen years ago. She deserved so much better than him. She needed a strong, fierce man. A man who could protect her from this beast. Surely someone like Elliot Stabler or David Haden would have been strong enough to save her.

Brian felt like a bad boyfriend, and he knew that if he and Olivia were to get out alive, she would never forgive him for allowing this man inside her apartment. He closed his eyes. He couldn't watch the rape of the woman he loved.

"Open your eyes, Boyfriend. You're not going to want to miss this. It's Communion time." Brian heard Lewis say, and he hesitantly squinted. Lewis had removed Olivia's pants and underwear, and now she was lying completely naked on the bed. He was on top of her. Brian winced. "Open wide, Detective! It's time to receive the Body of Christ." Brian's stomach rolled as he witnessed Lewis plunge into Olivia's mouth. Olivia wasn't a huge fan of oral; she'd only given it to him twice, though he gave it to her all the time. She had claimed that she felt guilty because he was always pleasuring her, so she wanted to return the favor. Olivia had strong gag reflexes, so she could never go deep.

He heard her gag, and moments later she purged her stomach contents all over Lewis's junk. He pulled out immediately, and Brian felt a sense of relief linger inside his muscles._ Serves the fucking bastard right, _Brian thought, and then unwillingly noticed the tininess of Lewis's equipment. _So, that explains why he has to rape, _Brian thought.

"You disgusting pig!" Lewis hollered at Olivia and slapped her across the face. "You're going to pay for that, bitch." He reached for another cigarette, lighting it. This time, he began burning her stomach. She cried out loudly. When Lewis was done, this time, he hovered over Olivia and began biting her neck. He stuck his fingers into her, and murmured, "You're as dry as a desert. Here, let me help you." He ran his tongue over her lower lips, and started to moisten her with his mouth. She released a loud shriek as he plunged into her. Brian closed his eyes, knowing he couldn't watch anymore of this.

A faint sound in the distance caused Brian to open his eyes again. He looked away from the attack. Even though the bedroom door was locked, he knew someone was pounding on Olivia's apartment door. Was it one of the neighbors? Had someone heard Olivia's cries and shrieks? Or, could it be someone from the Special Victims Unit? Could it be another friend of Olivia's? Whoever it was, Brian hoped this would be the end of Olivia's torture. He couldn't listen to her cry anymore.

"Beast, there's someone at the door," Brian enlightened Lewis. Lewis pulled out of Olivia and growled toward Brian.

"You just ruined the moment. I was just about to finish inside of your girly friend," he hissed. Lewis listened carefully, and the knocking became louder. Someone was beating fiercely on Olivia's door. The pounding continued to louden. Lewis quickly put on his jeans, grabbed his gun, and looked at Brian. "Here's what we're going to do. Boyfriend, I'm going to untie you. You hear me? But if you give even the slightest hint that I'm here to whoever's at the door, or you try to escape, you and Girly Friend are dead. You hear me?" Brian nodded. _You're a fucking fool, Brian, _Brian told himself. Lewis untied Brian, still holding the gun close to Brian's head. This was the chance Brian had to fight, though he allowed this man to take complete control of him. Fear had taken away Brian's manhood. Lewis took a strip of duct tape and covered it over Olivia's mouth. "Here's to make sure you don't make a peep," Lewis smiled.

Lewis guided Brian toward the door. He stood in the corner with the gun pointed at the door, so if Brian were to make one wrong move; he and whoever at the door could be dead men (or man and woman).

Brian's heart was racing. He knew he was sweating profusely, and he didn't know how he was going to play off like nothing was wrong. Honestly, he knew that he wasn't the best actor in the world. He unlocked Olivia's door, and came face-to-face with the last man who had pointed a gun at his head. The last time Nick and Brian had been in a similar scenario, Nick and John had come to his apartment to inform him that he had been accused of rape. That was the same night Nick had discovered Brian's and Olivia's secret.

"Nick," Brian greeted the detective. "Whatcha doin' here?"

Brian hadn't spoken to Nick since the ordeal where they'd agreed to help each other. By no means did he expect Nick and him to suddenly be "best buds," though he did expect a little more respect from Olivia's partner.

"Well, why don't you tell me? Where's Liv?" Nick asked.

"She's sleeping. She went straight to bed when she came home. Told me she didn't want to be disturbed. She seemed pretty exhausted," Brian was quick to tell Nick. After living undercover for so many years, he'd become accustomed to making up lies. He thought that one was pretty buyable.

"I see, then," Nick said. "Well, she seemed pretty upset when she left the precinct. I just wanted to drop by and make sure was all right. You wouldn't happen to know anything about why she would be upset, would you?"

"Like I said, she was pretty tired," Brian offered. "Now, if you don't mind, I was going to bed myself…"

"Right…tired…" Nick mumbled. Brian started to shut the door, though Nick pushed his arm against the door. "Look, buddy," Nick growled. "If you hurt or do hurt Olivia in any way, shape, or form, I'll have your ass. Can't really take your badge, but I can make you feel pain in ways and places you've never felt pain. So, watch your move, buddy. I know you probably think we're buddy-buddy now that you helped me with my son, but Olivia is my partner and I care about her."

"You mean you secretly want to fuck my girlfriend, right?" Brian growled. Nick's eyes widened at the accusation, and then Brian added, "I don't know if they taught you this in The Academy, or maybe most people would find it commonsense, but you can't just go threatening your gun whenever people don't say what you want them to say. Now, go the fuck away."

"Look…first things first, Liv and I…partners. Nothing else. Second, I just want to make sure she's all right. As her partner, it's my first priority to keep her safe…"

"In the field. When she's not at work, she's not your responsibility. So, leave, Amaro." Brian started to shut the door again, wishing he could give Nick some hint of what was happening in the bedroom. Brian swallowed the large lump in his throat as he looked at Lewis through the corner of his eye. Lewis's gun was clenched tightly in his hand.

"One more thing," Nick said, holding his arm against the door one last time. He pulled an object off his belt. "Liv left this on her desk. With William Lewis out on bail, who knows, she might need it. Could you give it to her?" Brian's jaw dropped as Nick handed him Olivia's gun.


	4. The Shot

Olivia Benson lay completely stiff and lifeless. Her sore hands and feet were tied to the bed, so she was unable to move even if she chose. Her body ached everywhere. The burns instilled on her stomach and breasts tingled sharply. She couldn't even tilt her head to see her damaged skin. She knew that the burns would scar, and if she survived, she would never be the same woman again. Now, her body ached, and she felt like a filthy peasant. William Lewis had been inside her. He had ruined her.

And Brian had witnessed it all. _What the fuck was he doing here? _Olivia had been asking herself since she'd seen Brian Cassidy, tied and mangled on the floor of her bedroom. The last time they had spoken had been the Sunday that Olivia had been called into work because Amanda and her dog had encountered Lewis in the park, and Amanda had a "bad feeling." Nonetheless, she and Brian had been arguing before she'd been called into work. Lately, it seems like she was always starting arguing. Brian knew that Sunday was normally her only day off, yet he still insisted they dedicate every damn ounce of free time they had together to watching a sports game. She wasn't a huge fan of sports to begin with, but she tagged along just so she could spend time with Brian. Though, her presence really seemed to mean nothing to him. He was too invested in the stupid television to acknowledge her presence. It got old. Fast. And whenever she suggested they try to "change it up," he shot her down immediately, insisting they'd change it up "next Sunday." Then, next Sunday would come, and nothing ever changed.

So, what the fuck was Brian Cassidy doing at her apartment?

Her eyes closed in agony as her sobs went unheard. The duct tape pressed tightly against her lips. Her heart raced faster as breathing became more difficult. She inhaled the stale air through her nose. Her face was drenched with tears.

She was so humiliated. She retraced her thoughts back to the words Brian had spoken earlier. _"I'm sorry I haven't been a good boyfriend lately. I've been a selfish dick. I just can't stand to see you in pain. I love you, Olivia Benson, with all my heart and soul; and I'd do anything for you—even if it means giving you my own life. I'd rather die for you than live without you." _Had he really meant those words? Her heart choked. Neither had used the forbidden "l" word before. Did she love him? In early stage of their relationship, after Brian had been released from the hospital, their relationship had been so blissful. Of course, it had consisted of regular Sunday sex. He knew how to please her in the bedroom. Then, he'd surprised her with a trip to The Bahamas. There's no way he could have afforded it on his own. He'd entered a sweepstakes. Neither had expected him to win. Both were excited for the trip.

She knew that he'd felt something for her so many years ago, and that's why their relationship had been so easy in the beginnings. She was comfortable with him, and that's probably why he was her longest withstanding romantic relationship to date. Truth be told, she'd never been as comfortable as she was with Brian with any other man. But did she love him? What was love, anyway?

Olivia was so ashamed of herself. She didn't deserve Brian. Why hadn't she fought harder? Why wasn't she stronger? She should have stopped him. When Lewis had appeared, her thoughts had gone blank. She was unable to process thoughts. Her head brain was blank. This had never happened to her before. Not even when Lowell Harris had attacked her. She'd fought him as hard as possible, but she was too powerless. Too weak. Despite her extensive police training, she wasn't strong enough. Thankfully, Fin was there to save her. Fast forward five years. No one was able to stop Lewis from raping her, and now her womanhood had been destroyed. Brian would never want to touch her again. No man would want her ever. She was ruined goods. She'd counseled so many victims, often times referring to her attack at Sealview. She'd had a dick in her face, and she had felt like it was the end of the world. That didn't even begin to compare to having her breasts and stomach burned. It didn't compare to having Lewis shove his disgusting self into her in front of Brian. Now, she truly knew what it felt like to be a victim, and that's exactly what Lewis had wanted. She would never be the same again.

No one was expecting her to be at work for two days. _Who could possibly be at the door? _Olivia had a bad feeling. Lewis was able to get inside people's heads. She knew that he wouldn't make it easy for Brian to tip off the visitor. After all, he had threatened to kill them if Brian tipped off the visitor.

"Nick," she faintly heard Brian's voice from the living room. A sense of relief came over her. Though, she wondered what Nick could possibly be doing at her apartment. She had to commend Nick's detective abilities. He'd suspected something was wrong before she'd left work. He'd even asked her if she wanted to talk, though she'd respectfully declined. How was she supposed to discuss her private life with Nick? How on Earth could she possibly tell Nick that she and Brian were having problems? After all, he hated Brian. Nick would take anything negative she said about Brian to heart. With Olivia's luck, he would track Brian down and hold him at gunpoint. It truly wouldn't surprise her. He was that type of partner. Nick was like a brother to her, and no words could express Olivia's gratitude for Nick; even though he could be a pest at times. That's what brothers were for, though, right?

She could barely hear Nick and Brian's conversation through the closed bedroom door. "If you hurt or do hurt Olivia in way, shape, or form, I'll have your ass," she was able to make out." She wasn't surprised that Nick was throwing threats at Brian. That was typical Nick. She sighed. _It's not Brian you have to worry about, Nick, _she wanted so badly to tell him. She pressed her lips together tightly underneath the duct tape, wishing she could somehow remove the tape and scream as loudly as possible. Surely Nick was armed. If he had the slightest clue of what had happened in her bedroom, Nick would blow William Lewis's head off.

"You mean you want to secretly fuck my girlfriend, right?" was the next line she was able to pick out. _Really, Brian, really? _Olivia would have slapped Brian across the face if she'd been standing next to him at the time. She knew that Brian was jealous of her and Nick's partnership. He'd made a few remarks about Nick secretly wanting to bang her, but Olivia always shot that theory down. According to Brian, Nick disliked him because he wanted Olivia to himself. What really frustrated her was when Brian would insist that all her partners had secretly wanted her in bed. He'd told her that she was "too blind" to realize it. He'd implied on multiple occasions that she and Elliot had been an item at once. It pissed her off, and he had to know it. She hated even the slightest mention of her former partner. Brian didn't understand why. _"If you didn't have feelings for him, it shouldn't matter that he's gone," _he'd once said, and she'd been furious. _"You just don't fucking spend every day together for twelve years then leave without a goodbye!" _she'd spat at him. She would never forgive Elliot Stabler for how he'd left.

She couldn't hear Nick's response, but she was sure that Nick denied it; because it wasn't true. After all, they were partners, and they both knew it. Nick had Cynthia now, and Olivia was happy for Nick. He'd recently confided in her that he'd signed the divorce papers. He was also in a custody dispute. After Maria had learned about Cynthia and Gil, she had refused to allow Nick to see Zara at all. Nick was irate. Both Olivia and Amanda had convinced Nick to take Maria to court. He now had Zara every other weekend.

"Liv left this on her desk. With William Lewis out on bail, who knows, she might need it. Could you give it to her?" Olivia's heart lifted almost immediately, realizing immediately what Nick had brought. _Oh, God, Nick. I fucking love you,_ she thought. Only Nick would have thought to bring her gun to her. What the hell had she been thinking leaving it at work? Lewis was out on bail, and she'd _known _it. She knew Lewis had it out for her, though she'd never anticipated he'd go after her. No one had. Obviously, Cragen hadn't, or he wouldn't have sent Olivia home for two days without a protected detail.

"Will do," she heard Brian's voice. "Now, you should go. Bye." _No, Brian, don't let him go, _Olivia thought, but she heard the door slam shut.

"Put the gun down now," she heard William Lewis hiss at Brian.

"What do you think I am… stupid?" Brian growled back. Olivia closed her eyes. _Shoot him, Bri, shoot him. This is your chance… our chance… to survive. _

"You're not going to use that gun if you know what's good for you," William Lewis hollered threateningly. "I'm the boss, remember?"

"Whatever," Brian cackled, and a second later Olivia heard a shot fire, though she had no way of knowing whose gun had fired the bullet. She would find out in less than a minute when the man entered the bedroom.

* * *

**Who was shot? Brian or William Lewis? I know; such an evil cliffhanger. Stay tuned! **


	5. Nick's Discovery

"Well, well, I guess it's just you and me now," Lewis's poisonous voice echoed in her head, and Olivia's heart fell into the pit of her stomach as Lewis's horrifying figure appeared in the doorway instead of Brian's. All her hope had vanished at once. A huge knot tied formed in her throat and the little liquid that remained in her body flooded from her eyes. Lewis had shot Brian, and now he'd come to finish her off. She saw the knife in his hand that he must have grabbed from her kitchen. This was it. She closed her eyes, preparing herself for her death.

Lewis's grimy, disgusting hands cupped her breasts, massaging her tenderly for just a moment. The thought of his grimy hands on a place she deemed so intimate made her nauseous. She couldn't bear to open her eyes and come face-to-face with The Beast. "There, there, why so tense?" his tone whispered in a soothing tone, but Olivia only found it more disturbing. He neglected to remove the duct tape from her mouth. "Oh, that's right, baby. You can't talk. As much as I'd love to hear you scream more, facial expressions can turn me on just as much." He laughed evilly, and her thoughts went to poor Brian who was lying on the floor outside her bedroom. Had he been killed instantly, or was he bleeding to his death now? What were the chances someone had heard the gunshot? What were the chances someone would call the police?

Olivia had never been a religious person. Her mother, on the other hand, had been a devout Catholic. She'd forced Olivia to go to Mass with her until Olivia was old enough to refuse to go. Olivia had never seen the logic behind the catechism. When she was drinking, her mother would spend hours, days, and weeks praying with her rosary beads. She'd pray dozens of Hail Mary prayers and Our Fathers. She prayed to St. Anthony whenever she would lose an item. Olivia never saw the point. How could a dead person help the living? After all, they were gone from this world. Olivia had never been a spiritual person. If she couldn't see it, it wasn't real.

She tried to imagine her mother's face in her mind. It was hard to believe that almost thirteen years had passed since her mother died. Thirteen years she had been on her own. Her mother had never been keen on Olivia joining the Special Victims and was adamant about voicing her opinion. _"I really want you out of that unit," _her mother had insisted and pleaded with her only child, but Olivia Benson had had a mind of her own since she was young. After all, it was her mother's rape that had inspired Olivia to become a police officer and transfer to New York's sex crimes unit. Since she'd learned of her conception, all Olivia had wanted to do was to fight the bad guys like her father and put them in prison. If she hadn't joined the Special Victims Unit, she never would have found her brother. _Though, would that be such a bad thing? _Olivia often wondered.

If she had listened to her mother's pleas, then she wouldn't be in her current situation. Then again, she never would have met her awesome friends. She never would have met Brian. The more Olivia thought about it, the more she realized she couldn't imagine herself as anything other than a sex crimes detective. It was who she was; what defined her. Perhaps destiny did exist, and this was how she was destined to die.

"Open your eyes, Detective, I want to look into your lovely eyes while I'm fucking you again," Lewis snarled. He slapped her across the face until she opened her eyes.

Seconds felt like hours. William Lewis was on top of her again and plunging himself in and out of her. Her entire body ached as he went faster and harder. Her arms and legs had turned to mush. The duct tape rubbed against her lips as the bed shook with his movement. Her heart beat faster and faster as the excruciating heat flustered her body. Sweat dripped from her body in buckets.

"Here we go," he groaned, emptying himself inside her; the warm liquid gushed inside her and vomit ruptured in her throat, of course being caught by the duct tape and pushed back into her throat. Her stomach churned in pain as she choked on her own vomit. She tried to breathe through her nose, though the room was so dry that breathing was a challenge. Her throat burned like fire was blasting her esophagus.

"Aw, what's wrong, Detective?" Lewis whispered, pulling out of her. The room was blurring, and suddenly it felt as if the room was spinning. She made out the knife in his hand again, which he soon carved into her inner thigh. The pain reached every nerve in her body. It was like he was carving a letter, though her brain couldn't formulate which letter it was. Her vision was dimming when she heard a loud pound on the door again. Then, there was a loud thump. How much time had passed since Lewis had re-entered her room? How long had it been since Brian was shot? It could have been two minutes or two hours for all she knew. She couldn't read her bedside clock. She couldn't breathe. All was fading slowly into blackness.

"SVU Portable to Central! 10-13! 10-13! Officer down! This is Detective Nick Amaro, Manhattan SVU, Badge Number 8321! An officer has been wounded in the right shoulder and barely conscious. We need a bus at 203 85th Street, Manhattan! Apartment 4D! Victim is in the living room of the apartment; there may be more victims!"

* * *

_**Meanwhile…**_

Nick Amaro had a gut feeling that something was off. From the moment he'd met Brian Cassidy, he'd had a bad feeling about him. Maybe it had something to do with the fact Cassidy had punched him during their first encounter. Still, something seemed shady about the former SVU detective.

When he'd learned his partner was involved with Cassidy, Nick honestly hadn't known how to react. He was disappointed that his partner hadn't been the one to confront him. Then again, she insisted it wasn't any of his business, and she was probably right. She was an adult who was perfectly capable of taking care of her own self. Still, she was a beautiful woman. Nick knew that she could have any man in the world if she honestly tried. Why would she choose to be with Brian Cassidy of all people? None of it made sense to Nick until Munch had filled him in about how Liv had a one-night stand with Brian back when he used to work Special Victims. Nick was shocked; after all, Olivia didn't strike him as the "one-night stand" type. Apparently she'd had a wild side in her younger years.

Nonetheless, now he knew why Olivia had always been sticking up for Cassidy; why she had completely freaked out when Cassidy was wounded; and why she had been so secretive. He'd known she was seeing someone for the longest time, though he'd assumed that she was still secretly seeing David Haden. Nick had been one of the first to know about her relationship with the former Executive Assistant District Attorney. David seemed like a nice guy, and he'd been cool keeping the secret for his partner.

Nick would never in a million years have predicted that she was actually seeing Brian Cassidy. That's who she had gone to The Bahamas with. That's who she had gone out for a Valentine's Day dinner with. He'd thought it was fishy that she'd insisted that she didn't know her partner well enough to have an actual Valentine's Day with but she knew him well enough to go to The Bahamas with. There were some things about Liv that Nick would honestly never understand. Like, for example, what she saw in Brian Cassidy. He was definitely the complete opposite of David Haden.

He'd meant it when he'd told Cassidy that he'd have his ass if he ever hurt Liv. Nick couldn't believe that Cassidy had thrown the "you want to fuck my girlfriend" card at him. Nick truly never thought of Liv like that, and he was certain Liv didn't think of him like that. He wanted to kill Brian at times, but Nick held his own for Liv's sake. He didn't want to do anything to jeopardize their partnership. He felt as though he'd spent too much time trying to regain her trust after the whole ordeal that past fall.

He knew that he needed to let his partner live her own life. It was really hard for him. He hated seeing those he loved in pain, and there had definitely been something on Olivia's mind when he'd left the precinct. And he wasn't entirely buying that she was sleeping. Knowing those two, he'd interrupted their special fucking session. He released a sigh. He'd promised Gil and Cynthia that he'd bring pizza over and they could have a family movie night tonight. He'd ordered the pizza when he'd gotten to Benson's apartment, and he'd planned to pick it up after he dropped off her gun. That's where he was headed. Now that his divorce with Maria was finalized, Nick spent nearly every night at Cynthia's. He and Cynthia had even discussed buying a house together.

Nick found himself in the apartment complex's elevator. The door had already closed when he heard the shot. The shot had come from somewhere on the fourth floor, Olivia's floor. He knew it had come from the left, which was where her apartment was, though he had no way of knowing if had come from her exact apartment. His initial reaction was to force the door to open, but the damn elevator door refused to open. It was an older elevator. _Liv's apartment building really needs to update its elevators, _Nick though, pressing the button repeatedly, but the stupid elevator had already started going down, despite the fact he hadn't pressed a number. _Shit! _His thoughts screamed, pulling out his police radio. He normally didn't carry it with him on his days off, but since Lewis was out on bail; he wanted to be prepared for the worst.

"SVU Portable to Central! 10-10! Shots fired at 205 West 85th Street, Manhattan on the 4th floor! I need back up!"

He clicked off the radio as the elevator opened on the first floor. He wasn't about to risk the old elevator malfunctioning again. He began to make his way to the stairs and raced up the stairs, until he reached the fourth floor. His first instinct was to go to Olivia's apartment. He pounded on the door fiercely, and when no one had answer thirty seconds, he prepared himself to beat down the door.

Nick's worst fears were confirmed when he saw Brian Cassidy lying on the floor, blood oozing from his shoulder where the gunshot wound was visible. Cassidy was barely breathing.

"What the fuck happened?" Nick gasped, rushing over to Brian. "Where's Liv?" he whispered, pulling out his police radio and radioing to Central again, updating them of the situation. Nick applied force on Brian's gushing wound. The color in Brian's face was already paling. Was it too late?

"Bedroom," Brian managed to gasp. "Beast."

Nick knew exactly what Brian was trying to tell him. He immediately let go of Brian and rushed toward the bedroom.

* * *

**Not exactly what you were hoping for. *waits to be shot* Will Brian and Olivia survive? If they survive, how will this affect their lives from hereon out? What about the rest of the SVU squad?**


	6. The Victims

Brian Cassidy lay motionless on the cold floor. His wounded shoulder throbbed rapidly as blood gushed out of his body. His body was freezing, and his vision blurred as he struggled to breathe. This was his second gunshot wound in nine months. Last time, he'd been shot twice. His current wound was near one of the spots where he'd been shot last time. The areas on his skin where the gunshots had hit him before were still very sensitive. When he and Liv were intimate, she was always careful to be delicate in those spots. Now, his shoulder ached continuously; he'd never felt such a scorching pain before. Brian knew that his luck had run out; that this had to be it. No one could save him now as he bled out.

His vision continued to blur as his blood pressure dropped. He stomach ached as goose bumps crawled up his pale skin. Light-headedness beckoned him as he struggled to focus. He could feel his body becoming lighter as he struggled to stay alive. He tried to apply pressure to his wound with his good arm, but as he continued to lose blood; his strength also deteriorated. He was going to die.

He thought of Liv, who was now completely alone in her bedroom with The Beast. He couldn't see through the kitchen. She wasn't screaming, which he knew was a bad sign. His ears started to ring, and he could not hear much of anything. He remembered The Beast had duct taped her mouth, so he could do anything to her without her making a peep. Brian knew that he had failed as a boyfriend. He had failed to protect Olivia. It was because of him that she was being tortured. It was because of him that she had been raped. It was because of him. He didn't deserve her. In fact, he deserved to die. Olivia would be better off without him.

Brian closed his eyes and said one last prayer. He'd been raised in a strong Christian family. He'd gone to church every Sunday as a kid. There was a time he'd held so much faith in the Lord. As he grew older and continued to be burned, he'd lost that faith. Nonetheless, he prayed for Olivia. He prayed that Olivia would survive her attack and would grow stronger without him. She was a strong woman and was capable of anything she set her mind to. It was her fierceness that attracted him to her so much. She was a lioness for women. Everyone needed an Olivia Benson in their life, and he knew that he'd been blessed to have nine months with her. He only regretted taking it for granted.

He felt his body weaken. His muscles had never felt so heavy. Then, there was a loud pound at the door. _Help has come, _Brian thought. _You're gonna be okay, Liv. _Suddenly, it was like God was answering his prayers. The person on the other end of the door had kicked the door open. His blurred vision prevented him from making out the person's face, but didn't matter. Whoever it was would help Olivia. The person was Olivia's guardian angel.

The person must be a police officer, Brian realized, as he heard the man radioing. The room was spinning by now, and he knew he would lose consciousness soon. The person was applying pressure to his wound, but Brian's body numb.

"Where's Liv?" the familiar voice demanded. Amaro? Of course it was Amaro; Brian realized he must have heard the gun shot sound in the hallway. It only made sense. Though, why had it taken him so long to return? How much time had really passed? Brian hoped Lewis hadn't managed to hurt Liv more.

Although he and Nick didn't exactly see eye to eye, Brian knew that Nick did care about Olivia, and that's all that mattered. When he was gone, Brian wanted nothing more than for Liv to have someone like Nick to take care of her. She deserved happiness, and Brian thought she was lucky to have a partner who care so much about her. She had an entire squad who cared about her. She would pull through this. Brian knew she was tough, and she had the support she needed.

"Bedroom," he choked. "Beast." He uttered his final words before falling into blackness.

* * *

Nick's heart was racing as he stomped through Olivia's kitchen toward her bedroom. Dozens of scenarios ran through Nick's head as he prepared himself for the worst. Brian had said the word "Beast," and that was Nick's first indication that their perp William Lewis was the culprit behind this attack. Nick knew that Lewis had had it out for Benson from the beginning, and for some reason, Liv had taken it very personally. He'd watched her become personally attached to her cases in the past, but never quite like this. Nick wanted to slap himself; he'd had a bad feeling when Benson had left, which was why he'd made sure to bring her gun that she'd left behind. In all honesty, he'd been alarmed to see that she'd left it behind. They were a little shaken because Lewis was out on parole. Of course, no one could have predicted that he would go after one of their own. Though, honestly, Nick wasn't the least bit surprised. He knew that he should have seen it coming.

_If he's hurt her in any way, shape, or form, I'll kill him… _Nick decided on the spot.

He reached to turn the door knob, only to find that it was locked. _This guy's smart, too smart, _Nick thought, remembering everything that Lewis had done to Alice, of all the proof they'd had, and how he'd still managed to get out on bail. The man was a fucking genius.

Nick was quick to slam his knee into the door and bash it open. Immediately, his worst fears were confirmed. The scent of burnt flesh filled the room. His eyes began to water and instantly focused on Liv, who was unclothed and bound to the bed; her mouth duct taped; and her thighs were bleeding. Of course, Lewis was nowhere in sight. That's when Nick noticed the open window. _The bastard, he was just here. He escaped through the fire escape._ Nick knew that if he wanted any chance of catching Lewis, he had to run out that window immediately. Still, he had no way of knowing which direction Lewis had gone. Also, he had no way of knowing if Lewis had really gone out the window. Lewis was smart. He could still be hiding in the apartment, simply planting the window as bait. If Nick took the bait, then Lewis could still be in the apartment, and Liv could be gone before help arrived and he returned.

Nick hurried to Olivia over to Olivia's bedside and radioed the update to Central, hoping that help would be here soon.

"Liv!" he cried, unbinding her from the bed and ripping the duct tape off her lips. She was gazing into space, as if she didn't notice his presence. He immediately grabbed a blanket and covered her. He wrapped the blanket tightly around her thighs to stop the bleeding. "Where is he, Liv? Where is he?" Still no response. "Did he go out the window?" Her eyes closed, and her body went limp.

_Fuck._

* * *

It was a quiet evening at the 16th Precinct. Olivia and Nick were off, which left Amanda and Fin alone on duty. Cragen had gone home to catch some sleep, so the partners had agreed to staff the station. Amanda couldn't get her mind to focus on the heavy load of paperwork that she'd been procrastinating. No matter how hard she tried to focus, her thoughts managed to return to Lewis. They'd _had _him. DNA proved that Lewis had raped Alice Parker, but his crazy mad-woman defense attorney had managed to convince the judge that the DNA was inadmissible due to cross contamination; resulting in a mistrial. Amanda was beyond livid. She wanted nothing more than to find the son of a bitch right then and there and shoot him. If Fin would go cover for her, she'd have no shame in doing it. She was at the point she didn't care if she lost her badge for it. The man was a psychopath, and if it meant she had to go to jail, then so be it. At least that creep would be off the streets.

"Amanda, you okay?" Fin asked from across the desk.

"Do I look okay?" Amanda shot back at him. "The world's worst psychopath is out on the street right now. I'm not okay."

"There's nothing you could have done, Amanda. Don't beat yourself up," Fin assured her. Amanda didn't know how he managed to remain so calm.

"It's only a matter of time before he hits again," Amanda said, holding back tears.

"If he does, he's a dumb ass, and he won't get away with it again. We'll nail him for sure."

"It's not fair," Amanda whispered. "It's not fair that some other woman is going to have to endure what Mrs. Parker endured. I feel like it's _my _fault. Who knows, if I hadn't brought him in and brought Alice in for questioning too, then he would have never attacked her."

"Stop it, Rollins. It's not your fault. You can't be blamin' yourself for this freak's actions. You did what you felt was right, and we've got our eye on him. It's only a matter of time before he's locked up for life." The ringing phone grabbed their attention, and Fin released a sigh, "I was hopin' it'd be a quiet night so we could go home early."

Amanda shook her head and reached for the phone. "Manhattan Special Victims Unit. This is Detective Rollins speaking."

"Amanda! It's Nick!" Nick's voice was shaking.

"Nick, what's wrong?" Amanda demanded worriedly. She glanced toward Fin, whose full attention was now on Amanda after hearing his co-worker's name.

"It's Liv…and Brian…Lewis attacked them…at Liv's apartment…tell Cragen and get over here as soon as possible. I'm waiting on EMS to get here…Afraid it could be too late…" His panicked voice poured into her ear. It took a moment for Amanda to digest what she was hearing. Olivia and Brian had been attacked by William Lewis at her apartment? He was waiting on EMS, which meant it had to be bad. He thought it could be too late? This couldn't be happening. Amanda's heart felt like it could beat out of her chest.

"Holy Hell," she gasped as her heart fell into the pit of her stomach. "We'll be right there." She hung up the phone and was stunned for a moment, and then she turned to Fin with wide eyes.

"What is it, Amanda?" Fin asked, sensing the shock and fear in his partner's eyes. "You look like you've just spoken to a ghost. What'd Nick say?"

"It looks like Lewis attacked a lot sooner than we expected," Amanda whispered in a ghastly tone.

"Who's the victim? Someone we know?" Fin was quick to ask.

"Fin, it's Liv he attacked. Nick wants us at her apartment now."

Fin's face was instantly covered with terror.

**Author's Note: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews here and on Twitter. Reviews are like candy for writers. :) I hope you guys liked this chapter; it was definitely emotional for me to write. It definitely isn't looking good for Olivia and Brian right now! **


	7. The Team

"Olivia!" Nick Amaro cried his partner's name. "Can you hear me? Stay with me, Liv." Her eyes were closed, and her body remained still. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hands on her shoulders. He skin was ice cold, but she was sweating profusely. He lifted her gently, sitting her in an upright position. Olivia released a groan but didn't speak. Nick placed two pillows behind Olivia's head so her blood could flow to her brain. "Liv, you're safe now," he whispered soothingly, brushing her soft hair with his hand. Her eyes remained shut; Nick didn't know if she could hear what he was saying or not. She appeared to be in a state of shock.

Night had set in, and the cool night wind came through the window, stirring up the stench of Olivia's burnt skin. Nick had seen her burn marks on her breasts and stomach as he'd covered her.

_Where the fuck is EMS? _Nick thought. Time had frozen. Nick thought of Cynthia, Gil, and the pizza he was supposed to pick up for their family night; the family night that obviously wouldn't be happening. Cynthia had expected him at least thirty minutes ago, and Nick was a little surprised that she hadn't called him yet to ask where she was. He knew that she'd understand. She had become very understanding of his work conditions. He would call Cynthia later and explain everything. Right now, Olivia needed him, and they had to find Lewis before. _He's a dead man, _Nick thought. _He messed with the wrong detective. _

Nick had almost forgotten about Cassidy, who was still bleeding to death in the kitchen. Nick didn't know what to do. He may not particularly like Brian Cassidy, but he never would have wished this upon him. He may have threatened Cassidy's life, but he wasn't serious.

He heard the sirens sounding from outside, and a sense of relief came over Nick. He let go of Liv and looked out the window, where he saw the EMTs. It was dark and still outside; night at set in, as it was now after ten o'clock. "Up here! Quick!" Nick shrieked in a panic. His heart was pounding hard against his chest. "Bring two stretchers!" He was jumping down and waving his arms like a fool, trying to get their attention.

"Calm down!" an EMT called to him. "We're on our way!"

_Calm down? _Nick thought. _You've gotta be shitting yourself. _He wouldn't be calming down anytime soon. He looked back at Liv, who released a loud, painful moan. "You're going to be fine, Liv, the EMTs are here now. They're going to take you to the hospital and get you help." She didn't respond. What the fuck had Lewis done to her? Nick wanted to ask her questions about the attack, but he could tell that she was in no condition to talk. He could tell from looking at her that he had burnt her breasts and stomach. He'd sliced her thighs with a sharp knife. The cigarettes and knife were nowhere in sight. Lewis had to have taken them with him.

_The gun, _Nick thought. He'd handed Olivia's gun to Brian before Lewis had shot him. Where was that gun? Why hadn't Cassidy shot Lewis first? Was Cassidy really that stupid? Did Lewis have his own gun, or had Lewis somehow taken the gun from Cassidy? Forensics on the bullet would likely answer that question. Nick clenched his fists, suddenly despising Brian with all his heart. Brian could have saved Liv. He could have shot the bastard. Still, where the hell was Liv's gun? Had Lewis taken that with him, too?

Nick ran into the living room just as the EMTs were entering with a stretcher. An EMT reached down and checked Brian's pulse. "We've got a low pulse, quick. Get him on the stretcher, he's gonna need emergency surgery," he ordered to the other two behind him. They were quick to cover his mouth with an oxygen mask and prepared to position him on the stretcher. Nick found himself scanning the room, looking for that gun. It was nowhere in sight.

"We need help in the bedroom immediately!" Nick interfered. "Please! She needs help now." Nick knew that Brian's condition was probably more critical than Liv's, but he was more concerned about her at the moment.

"We've got two other EMTs on the way up," the EMT who had instructed the others to tend to Brian, walking into the bedroom.

Two EMTs appeared as promised. "Bedroom!" Nick pointed, quickly directing the EMTs to the bedroom where Liv lay. Behind them were two officers. He flashed his badge at the officers. "This is a Special Victims case," he announced to the officers. "I've got my squad on the way. The perp is a guy we've been investigating for two weeks who's out on bail."

The officers looked at each other, appearing confused.

"Usually we call you, not the other way around. What's going on here?" one of the officers asked.

"The victims are Detective Olivia Benson and her boyfriend, Officer Brian Cassidy," Nick said quietly. "I'm Olivia's partner."

* * *

"Captain, I'm sorry for waking you, but we've got a problem," Amanda talked into her cell phone as she was getting into the passenger's seat. Fin stuck his keys in the ignition, preparing to head to Olivia's apartment.

"It better be a damn good problem too. I was in the middle of a good dream," Cragen insisted, unaware of the information he was about to receive. Amanda had a feeling that he wouldn't be saying that if he knew what had happened.

"Er, well, it's definitely not _good_," Amanda sighed, glancing at Fin, who had begun driving.

"Cut to the chase, Rollins. What happened?" Cragen demanded. Rollins sensed crabbiness. She had woken him up, after all.

"It's Liv. She and Brian were attacked by Lewis."

"What?_!_" the captain's voice gasped into her ear. "What do you mean she was attacked by Lewis? And are we absolutely certain it was Lewis? Do you have him?"

"Look, Fin and I are on the way to Benson's apartment right now. Nick just called and told us she and Brian were attacked by Lewis and he was waiting on EMS. He made it sound pretty bad, but he didn't give me details. He told me to call you."

"What was Nick doing at her apartment?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Captain," Amanda told him. She vaguely remembered him saying something about Benson leaving her gun at her desk. She'd been too lost in her own thoughts to pay attention to what Nick was saying, though.

"I'll meet you guys at Benson's apartment," Cragen said and clicked off before Amanda could say anything else. She looked at the traffic in front of them.

"It's ten o'clock," Fin mumbled. "You'd think traffic would've lightened up."

"Well, it's a Friday night. What do you expect?" Amanda insisted, shaking her head. She rested her cheek in her hand. "Fin, do you think he raped her?"

"Gosh, I hope not," Fin answered. "Liv's been through enough already. I mean, she's a strong woman, and she's not one to let others know when she's hurting, but if he raped, God, that'll break her…last time…"

"What? She's been raped before?" Amanda cut in.

"She said she wasn't, but about five years ago we were undercover at Sealview. We'd caught wind of a corrections officer who was raping inmates. Liv was undercover as an inmate, and I was another corrections officer. There was a TB outbreak and we all had to be tested. While I was in line to be tested, she apparently mouthed off to him and he took her underground alone. He beat her up pretty bad and sexually assaulted her. I found her just in time, just before he managed to do real damage," Fin explained to Amanda. "And Amanda, please don't tell her that I told you this. She doesn't like to talk about it. In fact, I'm not sure if she ever told Elliot about it. Afterward, she had horrible PTSD, and that's why I say if he did rape her, she'd be broken. She would never be the same again."

Amanda's eyes widened. "You've got my word. I won't tell you that you told me. But, wow. You know, now that you mention it, she did say something about being assaulted while undercover. I didn't think to ask her more about it, though. I figured that if she wanted to tell me the details, she'd tell me."

Fin parked in front of Olivia's apartment just as the EMTs were carrying out a stretcher. There was a police car and two ambulances parked in front of Olivia's apartment building. Fin and Amanda quickly exited the vehicle and rushed up to the EMTs. There, they saw Cassidy, who clearly had a gunshot wound. He looked ghostly and was being fed oxygen though an air mask.

"Special Victims Unit!" Amanda flashed her badge at the EMTs.

"Where's Liv?" Fin was quick to demand. "Is she all right?"

"Upstairs, the other EMTs are loading her on the stretcher now," one of the EMTs responded.

"Hurry, he's lost a lot of blood. We've got to get him to the hospital immediately or we're gonna lose him," the other EMT instructed, as they prepared to load Cassidy into the ambulance.

"Hey, how about I ride with Brian? You stay here with Liv and Nick and wait for Cragen, Fin," Amanda suggested. She'd worked with Brian undercover once and happened to like him. She thought he and Liv were good together. He seemed to genuinely care about her, so she wanted to make sure Brian was all right. She'd seen how Liv had reacted when Brian was shot last fall. Someone had to be there for Brian now.

At first, Fin looked hesitant then nodded. "Okay, that's fine with me. I'll tell Cragen where you're at."

* * *

Fin didn't have time to watch Amanda get into the ambulance. His hands were clenched as he made his way to Olivia's apartment. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt such mixed emotions. He was pissed that one of their own, Olivia of all people, had been attacked by this beast. Olivia was like his little sister, and he loved her dearly. He and Olivia had grown close over the years, and had grown particularly closer after Elliot had left. He'd known she was aching after the departure of her partner of twelve years. She longed for a sense of familiarity, and Fin could give her that. He knew that she'd struggled to adjust to the newbies. He'd worked with Olivia for thirteen years, and he was almost certain that there were things he knew about her that her former partner did not.

Olivia had been through a lot in the last two years after she lost her partner. Now, it seemed like things were starting to come around for her. She and Nick really seemed to be hitting it off. Nick and Amanda had brought a new rhythm to the Special Victims Unit, and although Fin himself had taken awhile to adjust to Amanda after working with Munch for so many years, he was grateful for his new partner. Nick and Amanda brought two new pairs of eyes to the Special Victims Unit.

Fin was also happy to see that Olivia finally seemed to have a personal life. He liked Brian Cassidy. They'd actually worked together for around six months when Fin was with Narcotics before he transferred to Special Victims. They shared a common ground.

Just when everything seemed to be right in Olivia's life, this had to happen. Fin was already making plans to kill Lewis. If only they'd listened to Rollins's plan to track him down and shoot the bastard. Then, they wouldn't be in this predicament. Olivia would be safe.

Olivia's apartment door was beaten down, so Fin just walked right in. When he entered, Olivia was already loaded on a stretcher in the living room. She was covered with a blanket. Was she not wearing clothes? Fin ran over to Olivia's side. "Liv, are you all right?" She was moaning loudly in pain, and that's when Fin's eyes met with Amaro's. "Has she said anything?" Fin asked Nick.

"She hasn't said a word," Nick whispered. "When I found her, she was bound to the bed and naked. The room reeked of burnt skin. He burnt her breasts and stomach with cigarette buds. She was bleeding from her inner thighs. I wrapped her up to stop the bleeding."

"She was completely naked?" Fin asked. Nick nodded. Fin didn't even want to ask if she was raped. They would do a medical exam at the hospital to confirm, but Fin already knew the answer. "Where's the fucking beast?" Fin demanded.

"When I arrived here, the window was open. CSU just got here and is searching the apartment to make sure he's not hiding in here. I didn't go searching for him because I didn't want to leave Liv alone. I didn't want to take any chances."

"The apartment is clear," a CSU technician said, coming out of the bedroom. "The perp must have escaped out the fire escape window."

"Are we positive that it's Lewis behind these attacks?" Fin didn't know why he was asking. It was pretty obvious that it had to be Lewis.

"Come on, Fin, do you have to ask? Cigarette burns, bounded to the bed, it's his MO. I'm pretty sure that I interrupted the attack. Also, when I walked in, Cassidy was still conscious. He said the word "beast." Who knows what could have happened if I hadn't stopped by."

"Why did you stop by?" Fin had to inquire.

"Benson left her gun on her desk. I wanted to make sure to give it to her. Damn-it. If she'd had her gun, this wouldn't have happened. Gosh, I knew something was up. She didn't seem right before she left work, which is another reason I stopped by…fucking Cassidy."

"What'd Cassidy do? Let me guess, Cassidy interrupted the attack, so Lewis shot him point blank in the living room? I'm surprised he survived so long."

"No," Nick said. "Cassidy was already here. He told me Liv was sleeping, though looking back, I'm guessing Lewis was here all along threatening him…I gave him her gun…then I heard the shots when I was in the elevator. The elevator jammed so I couldn't get out. It was maybe five minutes between when the shots were fired and when I got back up here…"

"He shot Cassidy with Benson's gun?"

"I don't know. I don't know. We can't find the gun," Nick whispered.

"We gotta find this bastard," Fin growled.

The EMTs began wheeling Liv out of the apartment as Cragen arrived.

"What the hell happened?" Cragen cried, looking at his two detectives. Dark wrinkles had formed under the captain's eyes. He looked like he'd barely gotten an hour's worth of sleep. "Why the hell are you two just standing here?"

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Fin mumbled in Nick's ear.

"And where the hell is Rollins?" Cragen spat.

"She rode with Brian to the hospital," Fin confirmed his partner's whereabouts.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go ride with Liv to the hospital…" Nick announced.

"Where's our perp?" Cragen demanded.

"Escaped," Fin and Nick answered at the same time.

"And why the hell aren't you two looking for him?"

"With all due respect, Captain, we wanted to make sure Olivia was safe first," Nick responded with a hint of irritation in his tone.

"I'm ordering you two to produce him pronto, ideally tonight. _I _will ride with Liv to the hospital. Hopefully she'll be able to give me some answers."

"There's a problem, Cap," Fin said. "She hasn't spoken since Nick found her."

"How bad is she?" the concern filled Cragen's face.

Fin looked at Nick and could tell that he didn't want to repeat everything he'd just said. Fin patted the captain's back and began to explain what he'd just been informed.

"My, God," Captain Cragen whispered, his face turning paler than it already was. "We can't let him get away with this."

"We won't, Captain. We won't," Nick promised.

"I'm counting on you two to find him before he hurts someone else," Cragen said. He then turned around and followed the EMTs to ride with Olivia to the hospital.

Fin and Nick looked at each other. Both men were prepared to fight for Liv. Lewis had messed with the wrong detective, and he and Nick were both prepared to make this beast pay. If he was lucky, they wouldn't be together when they found him. Fin and Nick both knew that Lewis would be a dead man.


	8. The Conditions

The hospital was iceberg cold. Goosebumps crawled up and down Amanda's arms. Ever since she was a young child, Amanda had always disliked hospitals. Hospitals always managed to give her an eerie feeling. When she was little, she would always get ill after visiting someone in the hospital. After all, the hospital was where sick people went. Hospitals were filled with all sorts of diseases. Though, she figured she must have built up some sort of immunity now that she frequently visited patients who were victims as part of her job.

Brian had been rushed into emergency surgery, leaving Amanda alone in the waiting room. It wasn't looking good for Brian Cassidy. He'd lost quite a bit of blood. Amanda was worried for his life, even though she barely knew Cassidy. She didn't know much about his family, though Liv had once mentioned going out to dinner with Brian and his mother. Amanda knew that someone had to get in contact with his family.

She found herself at the front desk asking the front clerk to pull Cassidy's emergency contact file. She flashed her police badge. "I need to pull emergency contact information on a patient who was just omitted to emergency surgery. Brian Cassidy."

"Yeah, one moment," the desk clerk answered. As she typed into her computer, Amanda looked around. She knew that Olivia should be arriving soon. What was taking so long? The more time that passed, the more nervous Amanda became. She hadn't heard from Fin or Nick, so she was sure the ambulance had to be on its way. "For Brian Cassidy, we have his mother, Joannie Cassidy listed as his primary contact and his brother, Joe Dumas, listed as his secondary contact."

"Dumas?" Amanda lifted an eye brow, surprised. "You're positive that's what it says?"

"That's what I just said, isn't it?" the snooted toward Amanda. _Okay, no need for the attitude,_ Amanda thought, but she managed to brace herself. Amanda knew Joe Dumas, also known as _Detective _Dumas. She'd crossed paths with him a few times on the job, and one thing led to another and he'd asked her out a few months back after the drug bust she had gone undercover in order to help Brian and Nick. They'd gone out for drinks and she'd been a little tipsy. Needless to say, the next morning she awoke in his bed. One night stands weren't really her thing, but she also had promised herself she'd never get involved with another cop. Dumas had called her a few times since the incident, but she hadn't returned his phone calls yet.

The last thing she wanted was for history to repeat itself—the reason she'd had leave Atlanta. She'd been in a long-term relationship with a fellow detective. They worked in different departments. Then, she'd broken things off. He wouldn't let things go. As it turned out, unbeknownst to her, her ex had hidden video footage of them together while they were in bed. He'd forwarded that footage to officers in her precinct. She was absolutely and completely humiliated; and since both parties were over eighteen, there was nothing illegal about it. She made him destroy the video and transferred to New York. She'd specifically asked for sex crimes, because she wanted to help take perverts like her ex off the streets. Even cops could be dirty. She trusted no one.

Amanda couldn't believe that Joe Dumas was Brian Cassidy's brother. They had to be half-brothers or step-brothers, since they didn't share the same last name. Amanda swallowed hard. "May I have the contact numbers?" The desk clerk sighed obnoxiously and grabbed a pen to write down the numbers. _Someone's having a bad night. _She handed the paper to Amanda. Amanda looked at the paper, immediately recognizing the bottom number. She'd seen appear too many times on her caller identification. _I'll__ be damned, _she thought. _Brian Cassidy and Joe Dumas are really brothers. _

Amanda walked back to the waiting room in case Brian came out of surgery and a doctor could give her an update on Cassidy's condition. She dialed Joannie Cassidy's number, praying Brian's mother would answer so she wouldn't have to contact Dumas. She looked at the clock on the all as she dialed. It was nearing midnight. Perhaps it would have been better to wait until morning to make a house call.

"Hello?" a tired elderly woman's voice filled her ear.

"Is this Joannie Cassidy?" Amanda asked the woman quietly.

"Yes, this is she. Who is this to be calling so late?" the woman answered.

"My name is Detective Amanda Rollins with the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. I'm calling regarding your son…"

"Oh, no. Is it Joey? Is he hurt?"

"No, Mrs. Cassidy. Actually, it's Brian. He's been hurt and is currently in emergency surgery at Bellevue," Amanda informed Brian's mother. This was never an easy conversation to have with the victim's family, especially when the victims were one of their own.

"Ma'am, there must be some mistake. Brian had tonight off. He told me he would be at his girlfriend's apartment…"

"Mrs. Cassidy, this isn't easy to explain, but someone broke into Olivia's apartment and attacked her and Brian."

"My Lord in Heaven! How can this be happening? My poor baby. He was shot last fall, you know?" the elderly woman's voice cracked with concern for her son.

"I know, Mrs. Cassidy. I'm so sorry. We're currently waiting on him to get out of surgery."

"He's going to be all right, isn't he? Brian's always been a fighter."

"I hope so. We won't know until he's out of surgery, though."

"Does Joey know? He's on duty tonight."

"I don't believe so. You were the first on Brian's emergency contact list," Amanda answered.

"I'll call him right away and get him to take me there as soon as possible. Did you say Mercy?"

"No, Bellevue," Amanda clarified.

"Bellevue, of course. You'll have to excuse me, I'm going senile. Thank you for calling, Allison, right?"

"Amanda."

"Right, Amanda. Goodbye now." The line went dead. Brian and Joe's mother seemed like a nice lady, Amanda decided. She remembered that her son had been shot nine months prior, and she knew that Brian was off duty tonight and Joe was on duty. However, she couldn't remember which hospital Amanda had stated Brian was at, and she couldn't remember Amanda's name.

When she looked up, she saw a doctor walking toward the waiting room with a clipboard.

"You rode in with Brian Cassidy, correct?" the doctor asked, meeting eyes with Amanda. Amanda tried to read into the doctor's facial expression. Something told her there wasn't good news to come. _God, please let Brian be all right, _she thought.

"I'm Detective Amanda Rollins, Special Victims Unit," she said, showing the doctor her badge.

"Right, Detective. Have you contacted Brian's family?"

"I have," she said and took a deep breath. "Is Brian gonna be okay?" The look on the doctor's face caused Amanda's stomach to turn.

* * *

Cragen reached for Olivia's hand, but she pulled it away from him. The EMTs were feeding her oxygen throughout the entire ride to the hospital, though she appeared to be stable. She may physically survive, but Captain Cragen had a feeling she was damaged emotionally. He remembered when she'd had PTSD and had tried to hide it from him. Cragen knew Olivia well enough to know when things weren't right. She was like the daughter he'd never been given the chance to have.

It killed him to see her in her current condition. Olivia Benson was a powerful, strong woman who was full of compassion. She was a person who was keen on not letting the bad guy take control of her. To see her weak, powerless, and scared frightened Cragen. He didn't want to lose his best detective. He'd already lost one, he couldn't lose another.

She and Elliot had been the perfect team for over twelve years. They had worked hundreds of cases together. It was possible that they were the best detective team that NYPD had ever seen. Cragen knew that losing Elliot was the hardest thing for Olivia. Elliot had been more than just a partner to her. Cragen had noticed significant changes in Liv's behavior since Elliot's departure. But still, she was a great detective.

Cragen had encouraged Elliot to contact Olivia after he'd left the force, but he had insisted that she was better off without him. Elliot's exact words were "She needs to move on, and I hope you'll see to it that she does." It hadn't been easy for Elliot to let go of her, either. Cragen suspected it was possible that he loved her too, but he had a family; and his family would always come first.

Olivia seemed to be fending just fine for herself. Finally, Cragen believed, she was letting Elliot go. He'd noticed that she was getting closer to Nick and Amanda. She'd been defiant after Elliot had first turned in his papers, but she was coming around now. Cragen often suspected that One Police Plaza had anticipated Olivia's departure soon after her partner's, which was why they'd transferred in two newbies at the same time. Generally, it was common for a detective to leave a precinct after losing his or her partner, especially partners who had been together for as long as Olivia and Elliot. Olivia had surprised them all by sticking around. She'd been doing so well, and Cragen was happy to learn that she'd developed a personal life outside of work. Though, he was a little shocked when he'd learned she was seeing Brian Cassidy. He'd known Brian had had a "thing" for her back when he'd worked SVU, though she wouldn't give him the time of day. That was part of the reason he'd sent Brian on the assignment he had. Needless to say, he was happy for them. He thought they were good for each other and was glad Liv had finally realized that herself.

"Liv, it's me. Captain Cragen," he whispered to her. She didn't respond. The EMTs said that she hadn't spoken a word since they'd arrived, just as Nick had told him before he'd gotten into the ambulance.

At the hospital, Olivia was treated for her burns and the cut on her leg. Cragen demanded that a rape kit be taken immediately. Olivia hadn't refused his touch for no reason. She wasn't talking because nothing had happened. He didn't need to talk to a doctor to know that she exhibited all the symptoms of acute stress reaction. She was sweating profusely and appeared to be in a daze. He knew that she'd been raped, and Cragen wasn't about to allow Lewis get away with the rape and attack of a police officer.

A doctor came into the room. "Are you a family member the patient?" the doctor asked Cragen.

"Captain Donald Cragen of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit," Cragen showed the doctor his badge. "This is Detective Olivia Benson, of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. She was attacked and I believe raped in her apartment. I ordered a rape kit be done immediately."

The doctor walked over to Olivia, whose eyes were now wide open. Her eyes were cloudy, and she appeared to be gazing into space.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Newton. Can you tell me if you're in any pain?" Dr. Newton talked to Olivia as if she was just any patient. Then it hit Cragen; she _was _just like any patient. Seeing Liv, his Olivia, as a patient had to be the hardest thing he'd ever experienced. When she didn't respond, Dr. Newton turned to Cragen. "I believe she's experiencing what we call…"

"…an acute stress reaction, correct?"

"I see you've done your homework." Cragen didn't like his tone. He observed the doctor's young features. The chances were that Cragen had been working with victims long before Dr. Newton was born. "These symptoms are fairly common with trauma victims and usually…"

"…disappear in 2-3 days at the latest," Cragen finished for him.

"Correct, though often they disappear within hours. Overall, I believe Ms. Benson—"

"Detective Benson," Cragen corrected.

"Detective Benson will make a full recovery. You should contact her family and see if there's someone who's willing to stay with her while she's recovering because we're going to need this bed for someone whose life is at stake."

_Her family, _Cragen thought; Olivia's mother was dead, and her brother was well aware that he was the only blood family she had. As far as Cragen knew, SVU was her family. But this doctor didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

"Excuse me?" Captain Cragen was livid. "You come in here, examine her for two minutes, and tell me that she's _fine_, and that she should be sent home? One of New York's finest detectives was possibly raped tonight, and you want to send her home? Who is your superior, and where can I find him or her?"

"Sir, calm down. I mean, she should spend the night for observation…"

"Not under your watch," Cragen said. "I'll see to it that she has another doctor. Olivia Benson will have the best care this hospital has to offer."

* * *

"Where the hell should we start?" Fin asked Nick, who was staring blankly at his phone. Dark circles rounded his eyelids, and Fin could tell his partner was tired. They had barely slept all week, and now shit had hit the fan. Fin found Olivia's attack very personal. After all, Olivia was like his sister. They'd worked together for over a decade, and he knew she didn't have a real family out of work. SVU was her true family. Hell, SVU was his too. For years, his son wouldn't talk to him. Now, even though he'd rekindled his relationship with his son, his son was grown. "Look, Nick, we're all tired, but we gotta focus and bring this guy in before he can hit again. You okay?"

"Yeah…fine…" Nick mumbled. "I was just thinking…first things first, let's hit up his sleazy defense attorney. If anyone knows where he is, my gut says it's her."

"You think they were sleepin' together, too, huh?" Fin raised an eyebrow. Nick nodded. Fin had seen the way she'd looked at him. A defense attorney wasn't supposed to look at their clients like that. As far as Fin was concerned, she was just as sick as Lewis.

* * *

**A/N: Just wanted to note that "Detective Joe Dumas" is played by Scott William Winters, who is Dean Winters's real life brother. (He's referred to as "Doom" on the show; I retrieved the name "Joe" from IMDb.) Also, TV dot com and IMDb list Mrs. Cassidy's first name as "Joannie." I know other writers have given her other names. **


	9. The Threat

"As I'm sure you are aware, Mr. Cassidy has lost a substantial amount of blood due to his bullet wound in his right shoulder. It also appears he's sustained recent trauma to the same shoulder; which makes his case worse, as it appears his neurological system was fully healed from his previous injury. Mr. Cassidy is suffering from injuries to the brachial artery, the brachial vein, and the median and radial nerves above the elbow. He also has fractures on the left radius and ulna caused from the gunshot injury. A saphenous vein graft was interposed between the axillary and brachial arteries on the right arm, but this graft was occluded by the thrombus. We attempted thrombectomy; however, the procedure was unsuccessful."

Amanda stared blankly at the female doctor. The only word she had specifically picked up on was "unsuccessful." Did that mean Brian had died? If he was dead, wouldn't she just come out and said they'd lost him? Nothing the doctor had just said was making sense in Amanda's head. She felt as though she was being spoken to in a foreign language.

"Okay, it's been a long, hard day. Could ya speak some English for me?" Amanda asked, trying to be polite, though she was exhausted and had a feeling she sounded bitchy. She didn't care at that moment.

"Right, well, what I'm trying to say is it's unlikely that viable tissues in Mr. Cassidy's shoulder are able to be restored. Thus, he's going to need his right arm amputated."

"Amputation?" Amanda's mouth dropped. "So, besides needing his arm amputated, he's going to be all right?"

"He was unconscious due to low blood pressure when he was brought into surgery. I'll tell you this, if he'd arrived even five minutes later, we would have lost him. He's still unconscious, though his brain doesn't appear to have suffered any damage. I'm recommending we amputate his arm as soon as possible. However, there's always a risk of infection in these situations. He's definitely nowhere near out of the woods, but the sooner we remove the arm, the better chances he'll have of making a strong recovery. Of course, he'll need to spend some time in a rehabilitation center."

"Okay, so what's the hold up? Why haven't you amputated his arm if it's so vital to remove it as soon as possible?" Amanda demanded furiously.

"Well, because of the serious risks involved in the procedure, I'm going to need consent from his next of kin, which would be…"

"Amanda!" a scurried voice cried from behind the detective. Amanda turned around to see Detective Joe Dumas running toward her. Behind him, Amanda saw an older woman who was following Joe. Her hair was dark brown like her older son's, though it was slightly faded. Her wrinkled face trembled with fear as she met eyes with Amanda and the doctor.

"Where's my baby?" Mrs. Cassidy quietly asked.

"The desk clerk told us that he was admitted to surgery, but the system didn't say if he was out of surgery yet," Joe said. "Please tell me that Brian is going to be all right. What the hell happened?" Joe wrinkled his forehead. Amanda could tell he was worried about Brian. Her heart skipped a beat as Joe Dumas's concerned eyes gazed directly into Amanda's eyes. _Please don't bring up that night, _Amanda prayed to herself.

"I'm sure Detective Rollins can explain exactly what happened later, but we need to discuss matters that are much more urgent right now," the doctor informed Joe and Joannie.

"What the hell is going on?" Joe demanded. "I'm not any games here. There's nothing more confusing than having your mother call you in the middle of your night shift to tell you that your brother has been shot and is in the hospital. I need answers."

"Calm down, sir," the doctor firmly told Joe and began to repeat exactly what she had told Amanda earlier. Amanda looked off into the distance, ignoring her as she spoke to save her head from exploding. Her head was already throbbing. She looked around, wondering where Olivia was. Surely she was somewhere in the hospital. She found it slightly strange that no one had called or texted to update her on the situation. Of course, Amanda had not even seen Olivia, so she was completely unaware of her condition. _She has to be okay, _Amanda thought. _Liv's a strong woman. She would've fought Lewis hard. _ Surely everyone was busy trying to track down Lewis. Amanda tried not to worry, but that was easier said than done. Olivia's boyfriend was about to have his right arm amputated. _Poor Liv, _Amanda thought. She clenched her fists when she thought of everything Lewis had done to the elderly woman. What if he had done those things to Liv? Amanda didn't want to begin to fathom Olivia harmed in any way. Olivia was her role model, and she strived every day to be more like Olivia Benson. Before she started at SVU, she'd spent hours reading over some of Olivia's cases. Amanda was nothing but impressed. Her first impression of Olivia was that she was a shining role model for all female police officers.

They'd had a rocky start. Amanda tried to be friendly, but she understood that Olivia had just lost her partner of over twelve years. Amanda couldn't imagine what Olivia was going through. Fin had explained to her that they'd been closer than some married couples, even though her former partner was married. As time passed, Olivia had begun to open up to her. Olivia had become Amanda's mentor. The thought of Olivia hurt in any way hit Amanda hard.

When the doctor told Mrs. Cassidy that her son would need his arm amputated, the poor woman broke into tears. She fell into her son's arms. Joe patted his mother gently on the back.

"Mrs. Cassidy, I'm going to need you to sign a consent form in order for us to perform the procedure," the doctor explained.

"Please call me Joannie, and I-I just want to see my son," Joannie insisted, wiping the tears from her face, and grabbing Joe's hand as she turned her head toward the doctor. "Please."

"Ma'am, I'm not sure if that's a wise idea at this time. Your son is currently unconscious and is in critical condition at this moment," the doctor answered.

"I want to see my son," Joannie repeated, this time slower and her voice was deeper. She was persistent and determined to see Brian.

"I suppose if that's what you really want, I can allow you to see him," the doctor releasing a sigh, giving into the determined mother.

"I'll go with you, Ma," Joe offered.

"No, Joe. I want to see him alone," Joannie Cassidy told her son.

"Are you sure?" Joe asked hesitantly.

"Yes." Brian's mom replied quickly to her son. The doctor guided the elder woman through the hallway, leaving Joe and Amanda alone. Amanda swallowed the large lump in her throat, trying not to make eye contact with Joe.

"So," Joe began slowly. "It's been a while, Amanda."

"That's Detective Rollins to you," Amanda snapped back. "Why didn't you tell me that Brian was your brother?"

"Geez, Amanda—_Detective Rollins_, maybe I didn't find it relevant? Honestly, few people in the NYPD know that we're related. We have different fathers, hence the different last names. Brian's dad died when he was eighteen months, and Ma gave me my pop's last name even though he never stuck around to help raise me. Ha, he must have been a real winner to have a last name like _Doom us_." Amanda turned toward Joe, listening carefully as he opened up about his past. "To be honest, I almost considered changing my last name to Cassidy when I turned eighteen. You have no idea the hell I went through in grade school."

"Is that when you got the nickname _Doom_?" Amanda inquired, remembering the name Fin always called him.

"Doom us, Doom," Joe said, mocking a first grader's voice. "I hated it back then, but it kind of just stuck with me when I entered the Police Academy. Now everyone calls me it, everyone except my mother who still calls me _Joey_. Honestly, I think I'd rather be called Doom, but I don't complain for her sake. She is my mother."

"Ah," Amanda murmured.

"So...forgive me for asking…but why didn't you ever reply to my phone calls after that night?" Joe asked the question Amanda had been dreading.

"Really?" Amanda snapped, rolling her eyes. "Your brother is in critical condition and needs his arm amputated, and you're worried about why I didn't return your phone calls? You need to re-evaluate your damn priorities." She turned around and started walking the opposite of where the doctor had taken Mrs. Cassidy. She needed to find out where Olivia was and how she was doing.

"Wait! Amanda! It's not like that. I didn't mean…" Joe tried to rush after her.

"Save it, Doom," Amanda turned around and snapped at him, and then she continued to walk away from Joe, searching for someone who could give her answers about Liv's condition.

* * *

Captain Donald Cragen was furious. In all his years with the NYPD, he'd never seen a doctor tell a patient she would need to vacate a room so someone whose life was at risk could take it. Olivia had second-degree burns on her skin. She had abrasions on her thighs. She was suffering from an acute stress reaction, and Cragen believed that she'd been raped. There was obviously something very wrong and very disturbing with this picture, and Cragen was determined to figure out what the hell was wrong with this doctor. Clearly, he was a young doctor and hadn't been around for very long. Cragen was about to show him how things worked around here.

It was around two in the morning, and the hospital was actually fairly quiet. Cragen was rushing through the hallways, looking for someone who could help. He hated to leave Liv alone, but justice needed to be served. _You've been in law enforcement for too long, Don,_ Cragen told himself, just as he saw a familiar face in the distance.

"Doctor Henderson!" Don shrieked, obtaining the old friend's attention. Henderson was one of the senior doctors at Bellevue. He and Richard Henderson had actually gone to high school together, which felt like a million years ago. They'd worked on dozens of cases together over the years. Don was also aware that Henderson had become acquainted with Olivia and Elliot, so he would certainly be able to help.

"Don, what are you doing here tonight? Is everything all right? You look upset." Richard turned, walking toward Don with a clipboard in his arms.

Don took a moment to catch his breath. "It's Olivia, Doc. She's been attacked, and her doctor has been behaving very inappropriately."

"Olivia? _Detective _Olivia Benson? Who's her doctor, and what do you mean by inappropriately?" Dr. Henderson asked, and Don could tell he had the doctor's full attention.

"Dr. Newton and he told her that she would need to vacate her room so someone whose life was being threatened could have her room," Don enlightened the doctor. Don's nose flared, as he held back tears, and for the first time began to explain what had happened to Olivia. His chest ached as he explained how Olivia had been burned, cut, and possibly raped.

"Well, for starters, Newton isn't a doctor yet. He's an intern, so he shouldn't have introduced himself as _Doctor _anything. Second, she's sustained burns, and she hasn't said a word?" Don nodded, and Henderson shook his head with disgust. "This disgusts me, and I'll make sure that Newton doesn't go near Olivia and quite possibly any other patients again. Let me grab her file, and I'll examine her myself. I've spoken with Olivia on several occasions. She really cares about the victims, and I can't believe something like you're describing has happened to her."

"Thank you," Don said, releasing a sigh of relief.

"Captain!" a nearby voice cried. Don turned around to see Amanda hustling toward him. Her hair was a mess, and she looked exhausted. He knew that she hadn't sleep in days, and she'd tirelessly worked Lewis's case. It was quite possible that Amanda had been more involved in this case than anyone else in the unit. After all, she was the one who'd brought him in. Don knew that this was killing her. Don knew that Lewis had taken an instant hard on Olivia, but Don was partially surprised that Lewis hadn't gone after Amanda. Who was to say he wouldn't still? Cragen would send her home, but he was afraid to. _Look what happened to the last person you sent home, Don. Nice going,_ he told himself, wishing he'd never sent Liv home that night. If he hadn't, this would have never happened. Amanda stopped in front of Cragen and took a deep breath before she asked, "Is Olivia all right?"

"It's a long story, Amanda, but I think she'll be okay now," Don said, placing his hand on Amanda's shoulder. He saw the confusion in Amanda's face.

"Captain, what's that supposed to mean?" Amanda questioned her captain's vagueness. Don began to explain the situation with the intern, and then she proceeded to update Amanda on Olivia's condition. "What an ass. He'll be one of those doctors who will end up in the cage."

"Let's hope he never becomes a doctor," Don insisted. "How's Brian?"

Amanda frowned and explained the situation. "I really think it's a good idea that we hold off on telling Liv for a little while."

"I couldn't agree more."

* * *

"Vanessa Mayer, please open the door!" Nick pounded angrily on the counselor's apartment door. He continued to beat his fist into the door, though there was no answer.

"She chose a convenient time not to be home," Fin said, rolling his eyes.

"It's fucking two in the morning. Where the hell else could she be? Come on, Fin," Nick hollered at Fin, still beating his fist into the door."

"Maybe she's sleeping!" The apartment next door swung open, and a gray-haired man appeared. "Like I was until you bastards started trying to beat down her door. Can't you just leave and let an old man get some shut eye?" the man growled at the detectives.

"NYPD!" Nick and Fin both flashed their badges at the same time.

"Okay, just because you're the damn cops doesn't give you the damn right to cut off people's beauty sleep!" the man snarled.

"Look, man, a fellow NYPD detective was attacked in her home, and we have reason to believe that the woman who lives here might have information regarding the attack." Nick could tell Fin wasn't playing games. Fin's facial expression was deadly, and it even almost scared Nick. He looked like a ferocious dog who was about to attack his prey.

"Uh, yeah, she's some defense attorney, isn't she? I've seen her on the news. And, uh, yeah, I saw her earlier this afternoon. She had some man with her. I was a little confused, because I could have sworn it was that guy who was on trial for attacking that poor old woman…uh…I thought he'd be in jail…that's all I know, detectives. I swear. Can you please stop banging on the door so I can get some sleep?" The man's tone was softer now, and he looked slightly frightened by the detectives.

"Yeah, thanks for your help," Nick said, looking at Fin, who was surely thinking the same thing he was. Lewis had been at his attorney's apartment. Perhaps their suspicions were correct.

Fin and Nick left the apartment building and sat in their vehicle.

"Looks like we've hit another dead end," Nick mumbled, sighing. He set his face in his hands and he held back the tears that were forming in his eyes. He wasn't the type to cry in front of others because he knew it was unmanly.

"Nick, get yourself together, man," Fin said, reaching over and patting Nick's back. "We're gonna catch this bastard, okay?"

"It's my fault," Nick whispered, inhaling the moisture in his nose. "It's my entire fault."

"What the hell are you talking about, Amaro?" Fin demanded.

"I should have protected her. I should have seen the signs! I knew something was wrong, and I knew that Lewis had it out for her. All the accusations he kept throwing at her…I should've seen the signs. I should have suggested a protective detail," Nick said.

"Nick! Listen to yourself!" Fin roared, and then continued, "There _were _no signs. He issued no threats, so there's no way you could have her a protective detail. No one saw this coming. Don't beat yourself up, bro."

"How can I not?" Nick asked, looking up. He looked outside into the peep of day. The sky was getting lighter as it approached three in the morning. "I'm a horrible partner. That's why she doesn't trust me, and I don't blame her. I wouldn't trust me either."

"What do you mean, Nick? What makes you think she doesn't trust you? Why shouldn't she trust you? You've lost me, Nick."

"Just forget about it, Fin. Forget I said anything. We've got to catch this perp. It disgusts me that he's still out on the streets." Nick tried to perk up, though his eyes were heavy with tiredness. How was he supposed to explain to Fin how hurt he had been when Olivia hadn't told him that she was seeing Brian? Or, when she wouldn't talk to him? He knew that Fin wouldn't understand and would insist that Olivia had the right to a private life, in which Nick knew he'd be right. Nick just hated feeling like his own partner didn't trust him. He felt that in order for him to fully have her back, she had to be fully honest with him. If they couldn't trust each other, then how could they protect each other?

"Wanna grab a cup of a coffee first? I think we're both gonna need some caffeine to get through tonight, because I don't about you, but I'm not sleepin' til this guy's behind bars," Fin suggested.

"I feel you, Fin," Nick said with a yawn and agreed to the cup of coffee.

They stopped at the 24/7 Coffee Shop that was the NYPD's biggest hotspot. There were two other detectives inside when Fin and Nick arrived.

"Fin!" one called out as the detectives entered. "We heard about Detective Benson over the police radio. She's in your unit still, isn't she?" Nick didn't recognize the guy, but he clearly knew Fin.

Nick ordered while Fin talked to the other detective. He had been around long enough to know everyone in the squad liked their coffee. For example, Olivia liked hers black. Nick couldn't understand how anyone could drink their coffee entirely black. He himself wasn't a huge coffee drinker and never had been, but tonight he needed the caffeine and Mountain Dew wouldn't cut it. According to his colleagues, Nick had never been a "normal" cop because he didn't live up to the stereotype that cops only ate donuts and coffee.

"_A cop that doesn't eat donuts? How can I trust you?" _he remembered Olivia's reaction to him not liking donuts. _Maybe that's why she doesn't trust me, _Nick thought, still stuck the image of the last time he'd seen her in his head. He tried to push the image away, as he flashbacked to her naked, bleeding body, lying so lifeless on her bed. How she hadn't said a word to him. She was bound to the bed, and her mouth duct taped shut. _"Liv!" _he cried, but she didn't respond.

"Nick?" Fin tapped his shoulder. "You there, man?"

"Huh? Yeah," Nick said, noticing their coffee was ready. He reached for both cups and handed Fin's to him. He sipped on the hot coffee. It was so hot that it burnt his tongue. He swallowed as the hot coffee warmed his throat. "Do you think we should call Cragen and check on Liv?"

"Good idea," Fin agreed, reaching for his cell phone in his pocket. As he began dialing, Nick felt his own phone vibrate in his pants pocket. He quickly looked at the clock on the wall. It was three-thirty. Cynthia and Gil would be asleep, so it had to be Cragen or Rollins.

He took his phone out of his pocket and read the word _Restricted _on the caller identification. _The hell? _He thought, and hesitantly answered the call. "Amaro."

"Well, hello, Detective," the familiar, chilling voice entered his ear.

"L-Lewis." Nick felt the color leave his face.

"You know, I wasn't very happy that you interrupted me earlier. I wasn't finished. Someone's going to have to pay for that," and the dial tone buzzed.

**Thanks so much for the reviews so far. Please continue to give me your feedback! By the way, I'm not a doctor and would be just as confused as Amanda if I were given those descriptions. I'm actually basing Brian's condition off a study I found online, though. **


	10. Her Amnesia

Amanda had followed her captain to Olivia's hospital room. She realized this would be the first time she saw her colleague since the attack. Amanda braced herself for her co-worker's condition. Cragen had not given her much to prepare herself for. He'd told her that they'd had a bad encounter with a doctor, and that Olivia still had not spoken a word since the attack. But otherwise, Cragen hadn't told her about Olivia's _physical _condition. Amanda didn't know what to expect. Had she been burned like Alice? Amanda shuddered as she thought of how Lewis had branded Alice's pubes. Amanda's stomach twisted and turned; she felt like someone was stabbing her with a sharp knife.

Her two year anniversary at New York's Special Victims Unit was only two months away. In her two years in New York, Amanda had seen more disturbing cases than she'd ever seen in Atlanta. Just a little over a month ago, they had dealt with a ten-year-old psychopath who enjoyed torturing his kid sister. He'd even murdered a dog with no remorse. Then, he'd shot Nick – again, with no remorse. Amanda didn't think it could get worse. Sure enough, it had.

Amanda continued to blame herself a little. After all, she had been the one to bring Lewis in. If she hadn't brought Lewis in that day, on their day off, then Lewis never would have met Olivia. He never would have met Alice, either. That's two – no three, counting Brian – attacks she could have prevented from happening. Amanda tried to push that out of her mind, realizing all the attacks she might have prevented while Lewis was locked up. Now, the NYPD had a close eye on him, and he wasn't going to get away with this one. He had pushed himself over the line by attacking two NYPD employees. He would face the rest of his life in federal prison. If he had committed the crime in Georgia, it's possible he could face the death penalty.

He was Lewis Williams in Kentucky in 1999, Louis Williams in Alabama in 2003. Then, he was William Lucas in Maryland in 2010. Lewis moved around a lot, and there were large gaps between the known dates of his arrests. Who knew where else he had lived and what other crimes he may have committed under other names. One thing Amanda did know, however, was this man was a violent man who deserved to rot in prison if he couldn't get the death penalty.

Amanda could remember standing outside the interrogation room with Cragen and Fin while Olivia and Nick interrogated to Lewis after bringing him in after Alice's attack. The chilling words that had come out of Lewis's mouth still gave her goose bumps. Of course, Liv had been the one to open the door.

"_What you did to her, you should be lucky I didn't kick your teeth in," Liv had snarled, getting right in his face. She didn't express an ounce of fear. _

_She stared in his eyes as he responded, "What I did? You should be so lucky someone does that to you." He gave Olivia a creepy, eerie grin._

"_Hey, shut the hell up!" Amaro snapped, banging his fists against the table. "I'll take you out right here. Wipe that stupid smile off your face."_

"_It's okay, Nick," Olivia insisted, smiling widely. Lewis had piqued her interest. "I want to hear this." Lewis's smile widened and Olivia repeated, "I should be so lucky. How? Tell me."_

"_Well, sure, Sweetheart," Lewis whispered softly and asked, "What you want to hear?"_

"_Whatever you've got," Olivia answered simply. _

"_You mean like… How disturbing it would be to make a fine, educated, cultured woman like that disrobe. How humiliating it would be. How she might try to cover herself with her hands."_

"_Go on," Olivia insisted._

"_You want to hear how I tied her to the bed. Not too tight. So I could watch her struggle. Huh? Not your thing, huh? Oooh. What about if I made her go down on her knees? Forced myself inside of her. Or…or do you want to hear about the pyrotechnics? How I put on my cigarettes on her? Yeah, gotcha. How I branded her private parts with keys, hot hangers." _

"_Okay, now I know you're getting off on this. But you know what? I want to know how you got in that apartment." Nick cut in._

"_Now, that's by the numbers." He paused. "Men are from Mars. Right, Detective? He wants the logistics, but you…you want the emotion."_

"_I do," Olivia answered softly. "So, tell me more." _

Amanda shivered. And Lewis had told her more. He'd gone on to tell Olivia about how he'd tortured Alice all night. Luckily, he hadn't had that chance with Olivia. Amanda wondered how far he'd actually gotten with Liv. She'd left the precinct around seven, and she was found four hours later.

She and her captain entered Olivia's hospital room to find her asleep. Amanda took note to a large bruise that circled Olivia's right eye, but otherwise she didn't notice any other cuts, bruises, or other abrasions on her visible body. Olivia had covered herself with the hospital sheets.

Before Amanda could ask more questions, the doctor arrived.

"She was sleeping when you two entered?" he whispered softly, both Don and Amanda nodded. "Well, I hate to wake her, but I'm going to need her consent for the rape kit."

There was a loud vibration that came from Cragen's direction. Amanda immediately realized someone was calling him. She prayed that it was Fin or Nick calling to inform them they had caught Lewis. Cragen's eyes widened as he pulled out his phone. Amanda glanced at Liv to see she still hadn't stirred. "It's Fin," Cragen whispered. "I'll step out. Liv will probably be more comfortable with another female. Maybe she'll talk to you, Amanda." Cragen exited the room to take the phone call.

* * *

"Cragen. Please tell me you're calling to tell me you've caught Lewis," Cragen's voice came through the receiver, and Fin's heart sank. He could only wish he was calling to tell his captain that he and Nick were bringing Lewis in right now. How the hell was he supposed to break the news that they literally had nothing?

"Not exactly," Fin answered solemnly. "We checked his defense attorney's apartment, but we've got nothing. She didn't answer."

"Figures. She's probably helping him. Call Barba and see if you can get a search warrant for her apartment. My gut tells me she knows something," Cragen instructed. Fin could sense the helplessness in his captain's voice. They were all at a loss. Here, they were doing what they did best – track down rapists. They'd dealt with personal cases in the past. Just a couple weeks ago Amanda had been shot by the daughter of his former partner. The whole squad had pulled together to track down the shooter, which ended with her holding an innocent family hostage and him risking his life to save them. However, there was a big difference between a bullet wound and rape. Bullet wounds would fully heal in a matter of months.

"Captain, it's early in the morning. Do you really think Barba is going to be able to find a judge at this hour who will sign a search warrant? Maybe it's best we wait til morning. In the meantime, Nick and I can check out the address listed for him in the system. Though, my bet's on he's not there. Look, I was just calling to check up on Liv's condition."

"Okay, it's worth a shot. But I don't want you wasting anytime. When daylight breaks, if you haven't found Lewis by then, you find Barba and get a search warrant. Of course, by then this will have hit the media. Olivia will be all right. She still hasn't said a word to me. A doctor and Amanda are in with her right now doing a rape kit."

"—Rape kit?" Fin cut in. "So, you know for sure she was raped?"

"I don't, Fin, but from the looks of things on the outside…burnt breasts…it doesn't look good. That's why we need the kit done as soon as possible."

"Fuck," Fin muttered, though Cragen hadn't told him anything he hadn't already known. Nick had said he'd found Olivia on the bed, completely naked. Fin's stomach tied in knots. If only he'd been there to save her again. He closed his eyes, thinking about Olivia's sexual assault at Sealview. He'd gotten to her just in time. Olivia hadn't been the same after that. He knew she'd dealt with PTSD and had gone to counseling for it. He was one of the few she'd confided that in. He knew that she trusted him.

Unfortunately, Fin couldn't be there for her this time. He clenched his fists, trying to control his anger. He wanted to murder Lewis. He wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. Fin felt his muscles tensing and his heart racing. He hated Lewis. He'd dealt with several criminals during his years on the force, but none of them had gotten under his skin like Lewis. No one messed with Olivia Benson and lived to see daylight again.

Through the corner of his eye, Fin noticed Nick had his cell phone pressed to his ear. Who was he talking to? Fin couldn't imagine it was Cynthia or even Maria. It was too early in the morning for it to be a reasonable human being who wasn't out chasing a rapist.

"He won't get away with this," Cragen said with a hint of assuredness in his voice.

"I know, Captain. What about Brian? How's Brian doing?" Fin was ashamed to admit that he had almost forgotten that Olivia wasn't the only person attacked tonight. He didn't know Brian well. They'd worked together in Narcotics for a couple months. Fin was happy that Olivia had finally found someone to spend her life with. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Olivia.

Overall, Fin thought Brian seemed like an okay guy. He knew that Nick wasn't fond of him, but truthfully, he didn't see Nick's problem. As Olivia's friend, he would hate to see Olivia lose someone else she cared about. Fin remembered when Brian had been shot last fall. Olivia had completely broken down. Olivia had endured too much heartbreak in her life. She and Brian had been together nearly a year. Brian had been with Olivia longer than any other guy Fin had known her to date.

Cragen didn't respond to his question immediately, so Fin knew the news couldn't be good. Finally, Cragen said, "From what Amanda's told me, he's going to make it, but he needs to have his right arm amputated."

"Shit," Fin whispered, not sure how to react to the news. At least it sounded like Brian was going to live.

"Amanda and I have agreed not to tell Liv right away for her own sake and recovery process."

"Probably a good idea," Fin agreed, though he knew that Olivia wouldn't react well whenever she found out. "Did you call Liv's brother?"

"Simon? The brother who only calls her when he needs something? The one who's used her from the moment he found out she existed? No, Fin, I haven't," Cragen answered.

"He's the only family she's got," Fin insisted. He knew that Cragen was right about Simon Marsden. He'd gone five years without contacting Olivia, and then when his daughter and step-son were taken away, she was the first on his call list. He used her because he knew he could and get away with it.

"Her family is 34,500 men and women in blue, Fin, but I'll see if I can find contact information for Simon. Maybe he'll want to be here. After all she's done for him, that is. You and Nick get back to collaring Lewis," Cragen said.

"We're on it, Cap," Fin said, ending the call. He looked over at Nick, who looked as if he had just seen a ghost. He was holding onto his phone and staring off with wide eyes. "Nick, you okay?" This was the second time in the last twenty minutes that Nick had spaced off and Fin had to bring him back to reality. It was late, and they were all running on fumes. Fin knew that Nick wanted to catch this guy as bad as he did. "Yo, Nick, you sure you're okay?" Fin tapped Nick's shoulder, and Nick flinched. His glazed eyes gazed toward Fin.

"He called," Nick mouthed, blinking his eyes several times.

"Huh? Who called?" Fin asked. He hadn't been paying attention to Nick while on the phone with Cragen.

"Lewis. He said that someone was going to pay because I interrupted him. He's going after someone, Fin." Nick's face was as pale as a ghost's. "He's going after someone I care about."

"Wait, hold up? William Lewis—our perp—called _you_?" Fin asked for clarification.

"That's what I just said," Nick said.

"Tell me _exactly _what he said. This could be a vital break in the case," Fin demanded.

"Lewis is too clever. He wouldn't have called from a traceable number. H-He said _I wasn't happy that you interrupted me earlier. I wasn't finished. Someone's going to have to pay for that. _Someone being someone related to me, because otherwise why else would he be calling me?"

"Because you're Liv's partner, Nick. It could be a decoy to throw us off. He wants us to know he's going after someone. Cragen said Amanda was with Cragen. I'm gonna call Cragen back and tell him about this threat so he can make sure Amanda is safe. She's the one who collared him the first time, after all. All his attacks have been personal. Alice Parker was a witness against him. He had it out for Olivia from the beginning. Brian just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I've got a bad feeling about this, Fin. He's going after someone in my family, I tell you. I'm telling you! I've got to check on them." Nick rapidly was making calls on his phone, but no one answer. "Cynthia's not answering, nor is my mom. This isn't good, Fin."

"Did you consider that it's three in the morning and they're all sleeping?" Fin asked.

"Maybe you're right, but I'd feel better if we could stop by my mom's place and Cynthia's. It'd give me peace of mine. My mom only lives a few blocks from here."

"Okay, we can check on Mama Amaro," Fin agreed. "After all, Lewis seems to have a thing for older women…"

"Liv isn't old," Nick protested.

"I looked into his former defense attorney's murder. Turns out she was in her mid-fifties. Lewis was only thirty at the time. He's into older women. Liv is twelve years older than Amanda. Might be why he got a hard on from Liv instead of Amanda. Also, he abducted and raped the mother of his girlfriend fifteen years ago. The mother was forty-five, the same age as Olivia. The man has it out for women older than forty. My bet? He was abused or neglected by his mother or grandmother."

Nick gulped. "I really don't care about explaining his actions right now. The point is he's attacked Olivia, and you think he's going after my mother now. We've got to go."

Fin tossed the car keys to Nick and called Cragen again to update him on Lewis's threat.

* * *

"_Welcome home, Detective."_

_He pointed the gun to her head and pushed her into the bedroom. He forced his elbow into her eye as he shoved her onto the bed. Her thoughts flashed back to the prison. The prison guard was on top of her again. He was holding her against the wall, trying to force himself into her mouth. She was helpless, powerless. But this time was worse. _

_She couldn't move. She was helpless, weak, and lethargic. Why couldn't she fight? Why couldn't she push him off her? His strength overpowered her. He threw her onto the bed and started to tight her off._

"_Please," she begged. "Don't do this."_

_He only laughed, and that's when she saw Brian in the corner, tied up._

"_Bri!" she called to him._

"Bri!" she yelled out. She was sobbing uncontrollably, but she didn't know why. Who was Bri, and why was she calling his name? Where was she? Olivia, though she didn't know her name was Olivia at the time, opened her eyes and looked around the room. There was a blonde woman looking at her with sad, tired eyes. A man wearing a white jacket was standing next to the blonde woman. He held a clipboard in his hand. He must be a doctor. She had to be in a hospital.

"Olivia, you were having a bad dream," the doctor said to her, but she didn't know why he was calling her Olivia. Who was Olivia? She'd never met anyone named Olivia; at least she didn't think she had. Her head ached and her temples throbbed. That wasn't the only part of her that hurt. Her chest, particularly her breasts, burned as if she'd been stung by a bee. Her stomach tingled with pain too. What had happened to her? "Are you in any pain right now?"

"Liv, thank God you're all right," the blonde girl said. She studied the slender woman. There were dark circles around her eyes. She looked like she hadn't slept in hours. She had lovely blue eyes. Obviously, she knew her. She'd called her "Liv," and the doctor had called her "Olivia." She wished she could recognize the woman. Perhaps she was her sister. She was too old to be her daughter. Then again, how old was she anyway? Did she have children? Did she have a husband? Who the hell was Bri? Her thoughts raced, but nothing came to mind.

"Who are you?" she asked the doctor.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you don't remember me. We've worked together on several occasions. I'm Dr. Henderson. I went to high school with Cragen."

Another name she didn't recognize. What kind of name was Cragen?

"I'm sorry, I don't remember," she said. "Where am I?"

"You're at Bellevue, Detective Benson. You were attacked in your apartment earlier this evening." Dr. Henderson answered. Then asked again, "Are you in any pain?"

So, now she was a detective? A detective for what?

"My head is killing me, and my stomach is tingling. Oh, and God, my chest…" she groaned, placing her hand over her breasts. She could feel the bandages through her hospital gown. What had happened to her?

"Olivia, do you remember your attack?" the blonde woman asked.

"I'm sorry, but who are you? Do I know you?"

The woman's eyes widened as she looked at the doctor. She pulled the doctor aside, and she heard them whispering. That's when Dr. Henderson turned toward her.

"Olivia, could you tell me what you do for a living?" Dr. Henderson asked her.

She thought, and she couldn't remember. She couldn't remember what she'd done yesterday or last week. Who was she? "I can't remember who I am," she whispered, tears flowed from her eyes. "Who am I?" she demanded. "Someone tell me! Who the hell am I?"

The blonde woman's face turned white. "Your name is Detective Olivia Benson. You've worked at the Manhattan Special Victims Unit for fourteen years." The woman looked helplessly at Dr. Henderson.

"It appears you're suffering from Dissociative Amnesia, Olivia. This sometimes happens after a traumatic event, and it results in the inability to remember your past," Dr. Henderson explained.

"Will I ever know who I am again?" she demanded. Her heart was racing, and her skin burned like it was on fire. She was scared. Tears streamed out of her eyes. _Who the fuck is Brian?_ The inability to remember the man she'd seen tied up in her dream was killing her inside.

"The amnesia can last for as long as a few days, or it can last forever. There's really no telling. The best cure is to be around people who know you and can help trigger your memory, Olivia," Dr. Henderson told her.

Olivia looked at the blonde woman. "You know me," she said. "Who are you?"

"I'm Detective Amanda Rollins. We've worked together at the Manhattan Special Victims Unit for almost two years," Amanda told her.

"So, you're my partner?" Olivia asked.

"We've partnered up a few times, but your main partner is Detective Nick Amaro. He's the one who found you and he's out looking for your attacker right now," Amanda said.

"What happened to me?" Olivia had so many questions to ask. She thought back to her dream. Was it possible that her dream had been based off actual events?

"Well, that's what we need to figure out," Dr. Henderson said. "Your skin was burned with cigarette buds, and your captain believes you may have been attacked sexually. We need to do a rape kit to collect evidence. I need you to sign a consent form first, though."

"Wait, you said that I work at the Manhattan Special Victims Unit?" Olivia asked, looking at Amanda. The blonde nodded her head. "So, I work with rape victims?" The blonde nodded again, and Olivia began to feel nauseous. She shook her head. "You're lying!" The doctor reached over and placed his hand on her shoulder, but she pushed him away. "Go away!" She started shaking. "Don't touch me!" She was shaking out of control.

"Liv, calm down," Amanda said with a soft voice. She pressed her hands against Olivia's shoulders and stared sternly into her eyes. "You're going to be okay. You're the strongest woman I know. You can get through this, but you've gotta have the rape kit done. You've convinced so many women to have their rape kits done in order to bring their attackers to justice. The man who did this to you has to pay."

The tension in Olivia's muscles released as Amanda spoke softly. She stopped shaking, and Amanda wrapped her arms around her. She sobbed into Amanda's shoulder.

"I just wish I could remember who I am," she whispered. "I wish I could remember who Detective Olivia Benson is."

"You will, Liv. It's going to be okay. I'm here for you. So is the rest of the precinct. You have so many friends," Amanda whispered softly into Liv's ear.

"You seem nice. Thanks for being here for me," Olivia graciously told Amanda.

"No problem, Liv," Amanda said, smiling weakly. Olivia could see the pain in the detective's eyes. She appeared to be hurting as equally as Olivia. Olivia imagined that she and Amanda must have been somewhat close friends, because Amanda appeared to genuinely care about her.

"If it will make you feel more comfortable, I can find a female technician to conduct the rape kit," the doctor offered. Olivia agreed to the offer.

Olivia lie restlessly in her hospital bed. She looked at Amanda, who appeared jittery.

"I had this dream before I woke up," Olivia said after the doctor had left the room.

"Yeah? What about?" She had Amanda's full attention.

"I…I was being tied to a bed, and there was this guy named Brian tied up on the floor of the bedroom. I think it may have been my bedroom. Then, I was calling out his name. Who's Brian?"

**Brian needs his arm amputated, and now Olivia has amnesia and doesn't remember who Brian is! Will anything ever return to "normal"? Will Fin and Nick find Lewis before he attacks again? Is Lewis really going after one of Nick's family members, or was the phone call a decoy to throw them in the wrong direction? Please review! **


	11. Her Lie

Brian's entire body throbbed with endless pain as his brain found consciousness. His eyes were heavy with matter. The room was cold, damp, and chilly. His throat burned and the fluids flowing into his body caused him to feel like he was floating on a cloud. There was a dull ache coming from his shoulder that bothered Brian. His vision blurred into focus as they adjusted to the bright hospital room. Across from his bed, he saw the figure of a woman sitting in a chair, crying.

"Ma?" he whispered hoarsely.

"Bri! You're awake!" his mother perked up, rushing to his side. He tried to move his right arm to stretch his shoulder, and that's when he noticed something was off. He moved his left hand over where his right arm should be, and his heart began racing. His left hand landed on his shoulder socket, which was heavily bandaged. His heart's pace began to quicken. What the hell had happened?

"Ma…" his voice quivered. "W-What happened to my arm?"

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," his mother mouthed, gazing into her oldest son's panicked eyes. "They told me you had an infection, and they had no choice. Baby, I'm sorry."

"Ma, no…m-my God," Brian whispered with a stutter in his voice. His heart had never raced as quickly as then as he attempted to digest what his mother had just confirmed. This wasn't Brian's first amputation. A few years ago, Brian had contracted an infection while undercover, which had resulted in the amputation of two of his toes and half of his right thumb. He'd quickly adapted to his new lifestyle. Losing a couple toes and half a thumb wasn't even comparable to losing an arm, though.

Brian's thoughts instantly turned from his lost arm to Liv. Where was she? Was she all right? Brian thought long and hard, trying to remember what had happened before he'd lost consciousness. _Nick was there. _Nick Amaro had been the one to save Olivia. _He saved me too, _Brian realized. His eyes widened at thought. He knew that Nick didn't particularly like him. Nick could have left him to die, but he hadn't. How much time had passed between when Nick had arrived and Brian had arrived at the hospital? Brian swallowed, realizing it was a miracle that he was alive.

"Oh, baby, I'm just happy you're awake and alive. I was so worried!" His mother gently stroked Brian's hair as if he was a young boy who had fallen off a bicycle.

"Ma, where's Liv? Is she all right?" Brian asked. _She won't want me anymore, _he thought, looking at his missing limb. Why would Olivia want him now that he was helpless and armless? The funny thing was that he still could still feel the sensations from his arm. It was like it was there, even though it was gone. He remembered after he'd lost his toes and partial thumb. The feeling never went away. His doctor had told him that it was perfectly normal, and at least 80 percent of patients who'd had body parts amputated had experienced sensations from their missing limbs. The burning sensation from Brian's missing arm continued to throb to his brain. He felt as if his arm was being crushed.

"I don't know, baby. I haven't heard. That nice detective was here when I got here, but she left."

"Nick?" Brian immediately assumed, then realized his mother had said _she_.

"I think she said her name was Andrea, or maybe it was Allison. No, it was definitely Andrea," Brian's mother said.

"Amanda," Brian said. He didn't know Amanda well, but he'd worked with her on that undercover operation a couple months ago. He liked her.

"Oh yes, Amanda. That's it."

Brian inhaled through his nose, where the tubes ran through his nose to supply oxygen to his body. He swallowed hard, looking at the white board in front of him. The board consisted of the numbers 5/21 and the time 3:21 a.m. He assumed that this was the time that the doctor had last seen him, and 5/21 was the date. May 21st. That's when it hit him. _Yesterday was our anniversary. This all happened on our anniversary. _The pit of his stomach ached as a sense of nausea came over him. How had he let this happen? Why had he allowed that horrible, cruel man into Olivia's apartment? Olivia would never forgive him. He would never forgive himself. He might as well have just died.

He'd had many close calls in life. Yet, somehow, he was still breathing. _Why torture me, God? _Brian thought, as he looked at his mother, whose eyes were bloodshot with tears.

"Ma," he whispered. "Don't cry."

"Oh, baby. I just can't bear to see you like this again. I love you, Brian."

"I love you, too, Ma," Brian answered back then thought of his younger brother. "Does Joe know?"

"He's the one who brought me here," his mother said. "He went to get me a cup of coffee."

She reached out and took his hand. Brian gripped onto his mother's frail fingers. She was the only one who had been there for him throughout his entire life. This was the woman who supported him no matter what. She was a woman who had a heart of gold and would do anything to make sure her sons were happy. She was the one who had made him the man he was today, and he thanked God every day for her. Now, he understood why God had let him survive. It wasn't his time to go. Watching his mother suffer was too painful for Brian.

But what about Olivia? She was the woman of his dreams. The woman whom he'd known from the moment he had laid eyes on fourteen years ago that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The woman who had been the one who got away, but she'd come back to him after all that time. The last year had been full of ups and downs, but the fact was he loved her. He needed to make sure she was okay.

* * *

"What do you mean you're on the way to Nick's mom's place?" Cragen snapped, in disbelief from what he was just hearing. Fin had just called to tell him about Lewis's threat.

"Cragen, I think we've connected a pattern," Fin said, then began filling Cragen's ear with his theory regarding Lewis's obsession with older women. "It's Nick who he threatened, not you or I. Nick's absolutely positive that he's going after someone in his family. His mom would be the most likely target, given Lewis's priors. Nick wants to send his mom to visit his sister in Florida."

"Okay, make sure Mrs. Amaro is safe. Then, I want you two to take a few hours and catch some rest. Tell Nick to go home to be with Cynthia and Gil. You've barely slept all day, and we're not going to get any closer to catching Lewis tonight if you're both drained. I'm going to send Amanda home too. We'll pick this up again at seven sharp, when we can cover more ground."

"But, Cragen…"

"Fin, no buts. Do as I say," Cragen barked. He didn't want to send his troops home, but he knew that they were running on fumes. He was worried about Lewis targeting again, especially now that a threat had been issued.

"Gotcha, Captain."

Fin hung up, and Cragen looked up to find Detective Dumas walking toward him. He was familiar with Detective Dumas's work at Narcotics, though he didn't know him personally. He believed Fin and him were close pals.

"Detective Dumas, what brings you here tonight?" Cragen inquired. He couldn't help but notice how upset the detective looked.

"Greetings, Captain. I, uh, was actually looking for Amanda. Could you tell me where she is?"

"I don't suppose you've heard what happened," Cragen said, raising an eyebrow. Why was he looking for Amanda, and how did he know she would be here? Scenarios passed through Cragen's head, though none really made sense – other than the possibility Amanda and Joe were involved.

"Actually, I have," Joe said quietly. "I guess it's time I come clear with you, Captain. Now, Amanda knows, so it's only a matter of time before everyone knows… Brian and I are, uh, brothers. Half-brothers, technically. We have the same mother."

"Ah," was all Captain Cragen could say. He observed Joe. "You look like him. It makes sense now."

"When we were kids, everyone thought we were twins. We're three years apart," Detective Dumas told the captain. "Now, do you know where I can find Amanda?"

"She's in with Olivia," Cragen told him.

Detective Dumas stared blankly at the captain. "Olivia was shot, too? The doctors weren't telling me much. I guess I just assumed Brian was shot at the court house. I guess that makes sense why Olivia wasn't at his bed side…"

"She wasn't shot," Cragen said, then proceeded to explain what had happened—well, what they thought had happened.

* * *

Amanda held Olivia's hand during the rape kit.

"So, you say that Brian is my boyfriend, huh? Why isn't he here then?" Olivia asked after Amanda had explained that Brian was Olivia's boyfriend. Olivia had asked how long they'd been together. Amanda herself didn't know the honest answer to that, because Olivia had kept the relationship secret for some time. Amanda guessed they'd been together around a year, since it had been a little over a year since the whole Ganzel case. It had been a year since Cragen had woken up with a dead hooker in his bed. _It doesn't get easier, does it? _Amanda realized, remembering the case that had ended her first year with SVU.

Amanda swallowed, debating on how to answer Olivia's question. How was she supposed to tell Olivia that Brian had been in the room with her when she was attacked? It was quite possible that he had seen parts of the attack. How was she supposed to tell him that he'd been shot and needed to have his arm amputated? Amanda didn't know how to respond. So, she needed to come up with another decent excuse for Brian's absence.

"Um, well," Amanda said slowly, devising her lie. "He's out of town with his mom." Amanda remembered that Olivia had mentioned going out to dinner with Brian's mom, so it was safe to use her as an excuse.

"Oh," Olivia said. "Has someone called him to tell him what happened?"

"First thing we did, Liv. He's worried sick and said he's on his way home. He'll probably be back tomorrow morning or afternoon," Amanda assured Olivia.

"Oh, my. Well, I don't want him to rush home just because I was attacked. He should spend time with his mom. He doesn't need to worry about me," Olivia said. _That sounds like the Olivia I know, _Amanda thought, smiling weakly at Olivia. The Olivia she knew was still present behind the amnesia. She was just waiting to return at the right time. She needed the time to heal after the trauma she'd endured. Time would heal all wounds.

"He'll want to be here for you, Liv. Bri loves you," Amanda said with a smile. Olivia rarely talked about her personal life at work, but she seemed happy with Brian. She'd fought hard for him when he was accused of rape. Amanda understood that Olivia wanted to keep her private life separate from her personal life, and she couldn't blame her.

"Well, we're all done here," the nurse said, bagging the items. Amanda was quick to pull the nurse aside.

"What's your verdict?" Amanda asked.

"Definite signs of penetration and torn vaginal walls. I detected bodily fluids on her face and pelvis," the nurse said.

Amanda's heart swelled with pain. "This kit needs to be delivered to the lab as soon as possible, and we can't take any risks of cross contamination. This guy's too smart. He's gotten away before by claiming his DNA was cross contaminated with the victim's."

"Ma'am, I'll make sure it gets to the lab safely," the nurse said with certainty.

The door swung open, and Amanda saw not only Cragen staring at her. Doom was there too.

"Oh, God, what are you doing here?" Amanda rolled her eyes.

"Amanda, I'm sorry for what I said earlier," he said.

"I really don't want to hear it now," Amanda snapped back. She noticed the confusion in her captain's eyes. "Cap, I'm sorry…"

"You don't need to explain," Cragen insisted. "How's Liv?" He entered the room and looked at Liv. "I see you're awake."

"And you are…?" Olivia asked. Her face was blank with obvious confusion.

Cragen's eyes widened and immediately turned to Amanda.

"She has amnesia," Amanda explained to the captain, then she turned to Olivia. "Liv, this is Captain Cragen. He's your boss."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. And you are…?" she looked at Doom.

"I'm your future brother-in-law," Doom said. "Your boyfriend, Brian, is my older brother."

"So, I take it Brian and I are pretty serious, huh?" Olivia said. "How kind of you to come see me. Amanda told me that Brian and his mother are out of town. I feel awful that I had to interrupt their vacation."

Both Cragen's and Doom's eyes focused on Amanda, widely.

"What did you do?" Cragen nudged Amanda, hissing.

Amanda shrugged, grunting back, "What did you want me to say?"

Cragen rolled his eyes. "Amanda, I sent Fin and Nick home to get some rest. I'm sending you, too. You need to get some sleep. Tomorrow we're going to nail this guy."

"Cragen, I really should be here…"

"Orders are orders. You're going to need your strength tomorrow when we catch Lewis," Cragen said. "Go."

"I could give you a ride home," Joe offered, reaching for his keys in his pocket.

"That's not necessary," Amanda said angrily. She didn't need Joe's services.

"C'mon, Amanda. Let me see you home safe." The guy wasn't giving up.

"Shouldn't you be with…" she stopped, realizing she'd lied to Olivia. "Yeah, fine, you can give me a ride." She waved goodbye to Olivia and Cragen, then grabbed Doom and dragged him into the hospital hall way.

"What the Hell were you thinking by telling her that my brother is on vacation?" Doom demanded. "That was a dumbass move, if you ask me. It's going to make it harder when she actually finds out."

"Okay, I'm a dumbass. Good to know how you think about me, because trust me, I don't think any higher of you," Amanda rolled her eyes. "You know, I'm really not in the mood. Just tell me, has there been any word on Brian's condition?"

"I went to grab Ma some coffee, so I haven't heard. That reminds me, I should probably do that before we leave, if you don't mind."

"Fine by me," Amanda said, wanting an update on Brian's condition anyway. She was slightly disturbed that Dumas had used bringing his mother coffee as an excuse to come find her.

* * *

**To ladydee123: Since you have your PMs disabled, I couldn't message you. But I'm severely allergic to cigarette smoke, so if I were being raped in my apartment, it would actually be a major concern of mine. Everyone reacts differently.**


	12. Her Nightmare

"You're freaking kidding me." Nick was livid when he heard that Cragen was sending them home. "There's no way in Hell I'm going to sleep while this bastard is still out on the streets and possibly torturing other women."

"I know, Fin. But you've gotta sleep. You've barely slept in days, and you were almost passin' out at the coffee shop. We can't have that, either. Plus, it'll be good for you to be home with Cynthia and Gil for a little while. Then you'll know they're safe tonight," Fin insisted as the detectives made their way to Nick's mother's apartment.

He knocked on his mother's door, but he figured that she didn't hear him in her sleep. She generally was a deep sleeper. Nick inhaled the cool morning air through his nostrils. He inserted his mother's key into the door and turned the knob. The apartment was dark, and his mother's perfume lingered in his nose. He was quick to turn on the light.

"Mom?" he called, but there was no response. He patted his gun on his waist and slowly began walking through the apartment. The first thing that Nick noticed was off was the fact that his mother's shoes were missing from the mat on the floor by the door. His mother always left his shoes there. He proceeded to make his way to her bedroom while Fin walked in the kitchen. Nick didn't have to turn on the light to know his mother wasn't in the bed. She was also a loud snorer. When he was a kid, he slept in the basement and his mother's snoring would make the floors vibrate. The apartment was silent and still. He turned the bedroom light on and immediately opened her closet to see if her suitcase was missing, and it was.

"The kitchen and living room are clear," Fin said, joining Nick in the bedroom.

"Her suitcase is gone," Nick mouthed. "Something isn't right here. If my mother was going somewhere, I'd like to think she would have told me."

"Has she ever gone on a trip without telling you before?" Fin asked.

"She'll go and visit my sister in Florida sometimes, but she usually tells me before she leaves. Fin, you can't tell me this is a coincidence." Amaro's heart was racing. Sweat dripped from his face. His stomach ached.

"It's not in Lewis's MO to abduct the victim," Fin pointed out.

"Wouldn't be the first time a perp changed his MO," Nick snarled. He felt tears welling in his eyes. "F-First Liv. N-Now my mom. What the fuck is wrong with me, Fin? I'm a horrible partner and son. I couldn't protect Liv, and n-now. We've gotta get this bastard."

"Hold on, Nick. Calm your tits. Ain't got time for blaming yourself. You were barely home these last two weeks. When was the last time you talked to your mother?"

Nick swallowed, trying to remember, and he was ashamed to admit that he couldn't remember. It must have been the Sunday that Amanda brought Lewis into the station, and then they were all called into work. He'd had breakfast with Cynthia, Gil, Zara, and his mother. He hadn't talked to her since.

"My point, Nick," Fin said when Nick didn't respond. "Call your sister."

Nick hesitated as he pulled out his cell phone. It was early in the morning and the sun had yet to rise over horizon. He debated on whether to call Natasha so early. Nicholas Amaro was the youngest of four children and his parents' only son. Natasha was his closest-in-age sister. There were eighteen months between the two. Natasha still lived in Miami with her husband and two children. Nick's mother had fled with her children to Miami when Nick was two years old to escape her abusive husband, the children's father. Natasha was the only of the Amaro siblings who still resided there. His mother loved visiting her and had often talked about moving back to Miami. She claimed that the warm sun helped her arthritis. After all, the main reason his mother had moved to New York had been to help Nick raise Zara while Maria was in Afghanistan. Now, Maria was back, and she had taken Zara with her. Nick was lucky to see her once a month.

He swallowed, and then decided he couldn't wait any longer to know if his mother was all right. He dialed his sister's number, praying she would answer. He knew that she was an early riser, but she wasn't this early of a riser.

"Hello?" a raspy voice answered the phone. It took him only a second to realize that it wasn't his sister's voice he was hearing. It was his mother's. Nick instantly felt a sense of relief.

"Mom?" Nick asked just to be sure.

"Is this you, Nick?" his mother asked.

"Thank God. You're all right," Nick sighed in relief.

"Yes, dear. I'm all right. I take it you didn't listen to your voicemail. I called you three days ago to tell you I was coming down to see Natasha and the kids for a few days. I'm leaving this afternoon."

He was confused. His mother hadn't left a voicemail on his cell phone. Then it hit him. She must have left a message on his home voicemail, which he almost never checked. His mother didn't seem to grasp that, though. She still called him on his home phone, despite the fact he was never home. He'd insisted countless times that she needed to call his cell phone if she wanted to get a hold of him, but she just didn't get it.

"No, Mom, stay there. Please, take all the time you need with Natasha and the kids. You're safer there, just trust me on this," Nick hurried to say. He had to convince his mom to stay in Florida until Lewis was behind bars. He couldn't take any chances.

"Why do you sound so worried, honey? Is something wrong?" his mother sounded concerned.

"Mom, just listen to me. There's a very bad guy out on the streets here, and I'm worried that he's going to go after you. You need to stay with Natasha in Miami, where you're safe. Don't come back here."

"Nick, there are always bad guys on the street in New York. You're always worrying. Maybe it's time you start taking something for your anxiety, sweetheart. I can take care of myself."

"Mom, I wouldn't be calling so early if it weren't urgent. Just trust me here. This isn't just any bad guy. Promise me you'll stay in Florida." He didn't want to tell his mother that he'd been threatened because then she would worry about him, and he didn't need her to worry more than she already would.

"I have a yoga class this evening, so I was hoping to be back for that..."

"Yoga can wait. Please, Mom."

"Okay, if you say so. I really hope Natasha won't be bothered by me staying another day."

"I doubt she'll be bothered. She loves having someone to clean her house and watch her kids. I love you, Mom," Nick said.

"I love you, too, Nick. Stay safe," his mother's voice warmed his heart.

"I will," he said, then hung up the phone. Nick turned to Fin, who was shaking his head. "Don't even..." Nick mumbled at his partner.

"I wasn't going to say anything," Fin shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway, I'm going to go home and catch a couple Z's. I reckon you should do the same. I'll drop you off at Cynthia's, okay?"

Nick sighed, nodding with acceptance.

* * *

Brian pictured Olivia's lovely beautiful face in his head. He imagined her soft lips pressing against his, and his hands running all over her body. She was so perfect and amazing. She'd given him everything and he'd taken it for granted. She'd hurt him fourteen years ago, he hadn't been good enough for her then. He lived every day in fear that she would leave him again, and he took it out on her. He wondered why she hadn't left him yet, and he was sure that before all this had gone down; she had been on the verge of saying goodbye. That's why she had been ignoring his calls.

He'd meant what he said to The Beast in the bedroom. He would have gladly taken the torture for Liv. After all, he owed it to her for being a shitty boyfriend. Brian's stomach lurched as he pictured The Beast branding his cigarette buds against Olivia's skin. He remembered how The Beast had forced Olivia to smoke against her will. _Poor Liv, _he thought. _My baby. What has he done to you?_

The Beast had gone back in the bedroom after he'd shot Brian. What had he done to her next? Brian didn't want to begin to imagine.

He needed to see Olivia. He needed to know she was okay. Someone had to have answers for him.

_She's tough and stubborn, _Brian thought, knowing that his Olivia would persevere. She was a tough woman; she had to be to have been at SVU for fourteen years. SVU wasn't for everyone. He remembered Olivia's early years at SVU. She was so good with the victims; it was one of the aspects of her that attracted him to her. It was like she could see through their eyes of the victims. She was easily attached emotionally to the victims. He knew that was still true today. As he'd gotten to know her better over the last year, he came to realize how attached she became. There were nights she'd come over and cry in his arms. She'd tell him about her cases, and how horrible she felt. She'd confessed to letting a teenaged girl get away with murder last fall. Then, more recently, she had assisted a rape victim and her child, the product of rape, escape from having to share custody with the rapist. She said that it felt like the right thing to do.

Olivia always believed in doing the right thing, even if it meant breaking the rules. She'd told him that Amaro was the only other person who knew the truth in both instances. Brian remembered telling her that it'd been a bad idea on her part to confide in that dirty partner of hers. Brian had told her that Nick would probably rat her out to save his own skin if he had to.

_She's gonna be fine, _he kept telling himself. He repeated it so many times in his head that he'd convinced himself that Olivia would be all right. _She has to be. She just has to be._

The Beast had to die. _I'm going to kill him, _Brian thought, knowing without a doubt in his mind that the NYPD was bringing him in right now. He wasn't going to get away with this. You don't attack Olivia Benson, one of NYPD's most decorated detectives, and expect to live to tell about it. Once Brian was out of the hospital; he had full intentions of tracking him down and putting a bullet in his skull if someone didn't beat him to it. This devil had crossed a line he'd soon regret.

"Hey, Ma, got your coffee," Brian's eyes widened as his brother appeared in the room. His brother was bigger than he was and had more of a baby face. Overall, the brothers' features were remarkably similar. When Joe had decided to follow in his footsteps, the brothers had agreed to keep the fact that they were related hush-hush. It wasn't because they were ashamed to be related; Brian just didn't want to risk Joe having to live in his shadow. Also, if he screwed up, he didn't want his little brother to pay the price. And he had screwed up. Several times. So, their secrecy had paid off.

Brian soon noticed that Joe wasn't alone.

"You're awake, Brian," the thin blonde acknowledged from behind Joe. Amanda's worrisome face turned toward Brian. Dark circles filled her eyelids, and he could tell that she was absolutely exhausted

Joe turned to his brother, acknowledging his consciousness. "Hey, bro. How ya feeling?"

He noticed Amanda's and Joe's eyes were specifically directed on his bandaged arm socket.

"I'm alive, aren't I?" Brian grunted as Amanda walked closer to him. "Please, just tell me Liv's okay. Please." He gazed into Amanda's sad blue eyes. He saw the cumbersome sadness take over her face. His stomach tightened, terrified of the news to come.

"The good news is she's conscious. It looks like Nick arrived just in time—for both of your sakes. Brian, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions," Amanda told him.

"Yeah, fine. Ask whatever you need to, and I'll answer. Wait, you said the good news is she's conscious? What's the bad news?"

"There's no easy way to say this," Amanda said solemnly. "Olivia appears to be suffering from amnesia. She doesn't know who she is. She doesn't remember the attack. She didn't know who Cragen and I were. She didn't recognize Joe, so…"

"…she doesn't know who I am," Brian finished dryly. His skin tightened against his skull as he felt his head throbbing. "What the fuck do you mean she has amnesia? How is this possible? I don't understand! You're lying."

"Why would I lie to you?" Amanda retorted. "Bri, this is just as hard for me as it is you…"

"Like hell it is!" Brian roared. "I'm in _love _with her. She's _my _girl. I need to see her. Now."

"Brian, I don't think that's such a good idea," Amanda said slowly. "You see…"

"…she told her that you were on vacation with your mother and wouldn't be back until later today," Joe cut in. "I told her it was stupid to lie to her, but apparently Amanda thought it was a good idea."

"Shut up, Joe," Amanda snapped then turned back to Brian.

"You WHAT?" Brian hollered again, in utter disbelief. What the fuck was wrong with Rollins? Why had she lied to Olivia? This was too much to take in for Brian. His heart was racing, his head spinning, and he felt like his world was falling down on top of him.

"I'm sorry, I had to. Cragen and I agreed that it was best not to tell her about your condition yet. She's been through a lot tonight, and she needs to rest," Amanda told Brian softly. "Please, Brian, tell me what happened tonight. What were you doing at Liv's apartment? How did Lewis get into the apartment?"

Brian was pissed. First, Amanda had told him that his girlfriend had amnesia from the attack and didn't know who he was. Then, she'd had the nerve to lie to her about his condition. That was going to make the truth so much harder on Olivia, if she ever remembered him. What if she took one look at him and saw him as a useless piece of crap? Then again, she could have done that with or without her memory. The Olivia Benson that Amanda was describing didn't know what her boyfriend looked like. She was probably picturing a tall, dark, handsome, and muscular man with two arms and two legs. Seeing Brian for who he was now would absolutely destroy her.

"You've got him, don't you? You've got the man who attacked her, right? Please tell me he's on death row," Brian said, avoiding Amanda's questions. Her eyes only became more sullen.

"Nick and Fin have been out looking for him, but they're limited to where they can look because it's so early in the morning. Cragen is sending everyone home and we're going to pick it up as soon as the sun rises. We're going to get him, Brian. Now, please, Brian. Tell me everything you know about what happened."

He gulped and told Amanda why he had come to Olivia's apartment. She'd been avoiding his phone calls. When he'd gotten to her apartment, Lewis had been there. He had claimed to be a friend of Olivia's, and Brian had been stupid enough to fall for it. He'd used the key Olivia had given him to get in her apartment. As soon as they were inside, Lewis had tied him up then waited for Olivia to come home, where he attacked her and bound her to the bed. Then Brian stopped. He couldn't go further.

"Where were you while she was being attacked?" Amanda asked.

"In the bedroom," he swallowed.

"So, you saw everything?" Amanda asked and he nodded. "What did he do to her?"

"I can't," Brian said quickly. He knew that he'd said that he'd answer anything, but he wasn't prepared to describe the gruesome details of his lover's rape. "I'm not ready to repeat it." He closed his eyes, trying to fight back tears. Men were not supposed to cry. When he was younger, he'd been extremely sensitive. The kids had teased him about it, too. As he grew older, he learned to suppress his emotions. How was he supposed to hold this in? As revisited the horrible things The Beast had done to Olivia, his soul weakened. The tears built up in his eyes.

"Brian, right now, your testimony is all we've got," Amanda said. "You have to tell me."

"Only to have to repeat it again?" Brian asked. "Don't forget, I was a detective for fifteen years. I know how it works. I'm going to have to tell you, then I'm going to have to tell Cragen, then I'll eventually have to describe it to Internal Affairs. One of our own was attacked, Amanda. IAB is going to be all over this."

There was silence, and then Amanda's asked with hesitance, "Did you watch him rape her?" Her voice shook as the words rattled from her mouth.

There was a long, menacing pause before Brian hoarsely whispered, "Yes."

Amanda pulled out her phone and held it to Brian's face. A man's photo appeared on the screen. "Was this the man who attacked you and Olivia?" Brian's heart nearly leaped out of his body as he looked at the familiar, terrorizing oval face. Brian intently studied the face of the man whom he had witnessed attack Olivia. His eyes were devilish and his sneering smile could not be forgotten.

"That's him," Brian said with certainty. "The Devil. The Beast."

"Okay, that's all I need for now. Get some rest, Brian," Amanda said and turned to Joe. "Let's get this over with."

_Rest? How in Davey Jones' locker was he supposed to rest knowing his girlfriend didn't know who the fuck he was?_

Joe turned to his and Brian's mother, who had been dozing peacefully in her chair. She'd barely touched the coffee that Joe had brought her, which she'd sat on the table next to her. Joe gently touched her shoulder, awaking her.

"Hey, Ma. I'm gonna take Amanda home. You wanna go home?" he asked his mother.

"Huh?" She opened her eyes, seemingly startled. "No, honey. I'm going to stay here with Brian. I'll sleep here tonight. Go ahead, sweetheart." She dozed back to sleep.

Amanda and Joe said their goodbyes, soon disappearing.

* * *

"This is entirely my fault," the man she'd recently learned was Captain Don Cragen muttered. He sat in the chair next to her and placed his elbows on his knees. He buried his bald head into the palms of his hands and sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Olivia."

"Why?" she asked, confused. "How could this be your fault?" It felt strange to call this man "captain," though that's who he was to her. He was her boss. She observed him, as he looked at her with his sad brown eyes. She began to feel sick to her stomach. Olivia was so humiliated by the fact that she couldn't remember anything, that her memories with her boss were empty. Apparently they were close. She could tell by the tears in his eyes that they were close. He was weeping for her like someone would for his or her child. She began to wonder if she had a family. What about her mother, her father, her siblings? She knew she had a boyfriend, but surely she must have some outside family also.

"I was the one who sent you home, Liv. I sent you home for two days. If I hadn't sent you home, then this wouldn't have happened. I should have just let you be your stubborn self and stay," Captain Cragen explained to her. _So, I'm stubborn, _she thought, at least she'd uncovered a partial piece of her personality.

"You couldn't have known," Olivia said quietly. "How could you have? Don't blame yourself."

"Liv, you're the strongest woman I know," the captain told her, placing his hand on her shoulder. A shiver crawled down her spine as he touched her. Her body ached everywhere. She flinched, and he quickly removed his hand. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said carefully. "I'm going to get through this. I'm going to get my memory back." She kept repeating those words in her head, convincing herself that her memory had to be there. Who truly lost their memory forever? The nurse had told her that she hadn't sustained a head injury, so she wasn't suffering from brain damage. She was simply suffering from memory loss caused by a severely traumatic event. She strained her brain trying to recall her memory, to the point she felt like her head was about to burst.

Don Cragen turned away as if he didn't want her to see him cry.

The nurse came back into the room, holding two pills. She handed them to Olivia and said, "This one is to prevent STDs, and the other one is to prevent pregnancy. You really need to get some rest now. Sleep is the best thing for you and will aid in the return of your memory."

"Thank you," Olivia responded, looking down at the small oval pills. The nurse handed her a glass of water to take the pills with. She took the first pill, struggling to swallow it even with the splash of water. Her throat achingly burned as the pill made its way down her esophagus. She struggled to grasp onto the second pill as she prepared to take it, but somehow it managed to fall out of her hand and onto the floor. "Shit," she said out loud. The nurse had already left.

"Hold on, I'll find it," Cragen insisted. He struggled to get down on all fours and started exploring the hospital room's floor for the missing pill. "My eyesight is worsening. I'll go ask the nurse for another pill."

Olivia's eyes were heavy, and she just wanted to sleep. Her throat was still burning from the first pill she'd swallowed; she wasn't sure if she could handle another one. She didn't answer the captain.

"Liv?" Cragen asked.

"In the morning," Olivia murmured tiredly as she closed her eyes and soon found herself drifting into a much-needed slumber.

"_Stop!" she cried. Her wrists had been strangled with rope. She shook her arms back and forth, trying to break loose. Tears gushed from her eyes. She couldn't move. Her wrists burned as they rubbed against the rope. She was weak. Powerless. Empty. There was a man who stood over her. He was thin and tall. His face was oval and his eyes fired fiendishly at her. He was snickering like the devil. The man hovered over her. "Please, please don't do this," she whimpered._

"_Shut up!" the man hollered, slapping her across the face. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and the smoke tingled in her nose. She released a sneeze, and the man cackled. He began unbuttoning her shirt, removing her clothes from her body. She felt so humiliated. _

_She heard rustling in the corner of the room, and she saw with her peripheral vision another man. He also was tied up with rope. His face was wet with tears. _

_The evil man had removed all her clothes. He smiled, pleased with his accomplishment. He held his cigarette in his hand, then leaned in to kiss her. She closed her eyes with disgust. _

_He removed his lips from hers and smiled joyfully into her eyes. He was enjoying himself. _

_That's when he started to flicker the cigarette over her breast, inching closer to her intimate body part. Her heart raced with fear, she used the little strength she had left in her arms and legs to put pressure against the rope. She was unsuccessful. Her muscles burned all over her body. The burning sensation in arms and legs was continuous. She cried, she screamed, but it had become apparent very quickly to her that this man did not care if she was in pain._

"_STOP!" the other man in the room bellowed. "Take me instead!"_

Olivia woke up screaming. Tears surged from her eyes. And she soon realized she wasn't alone. He was standing above her, smirking. The man from her dreams had been watching her sleep. Where the hell had Cragen gone?

* * *

**Alex Beckett: You have your PMs disabled, so I can't message you. I'm a huge fan of author's notes, and I'm sorry that you think they're cluttering. I personally try to keep them as short as possible. I don't use italics because I use italics for thoughts/flashbacks/dreams. I've experimented with various types of author's notes throughout the years, and I find that bolding works best. Most authors I know on this site also bold their author's notes (including you). As long as author's notes aren't in the middle of the chapter, I really don't see how they're cluttering. If you (or anyone else) would like to discuss how author's notes should be formatted, feel free to private message me (as long as yours are enabled so I can reply) or tweet me at lovegoodxox. **


	13. Her Guests

"We meet again, Detective Benson."

A shiver creeped down Olivia Benson's spine as the man sinisterly gazed down into her frightened, startled eyes. He let out a sneering cackle, seemingly all-too pleased to see her again. An ailing sense took over her body; her body twinged with nausea as she formed eye contact with the man who had tortured her in her nightmares. The details were blurry, but she knew that he was a repulsive person. She could also sense that she was in grave danger.

"How did you get in here?" she wheezed, trying to come up with a logical conclusion for his presence. She was in a hospital. Hospitals were safe havens, weren't they? _Please let me be dreaming, _she prayed, pinching her skin, but nothing changed. Could this all be a hallucination?

"You're the detective. You tell me," he mocked her, simmering his smile from his right ear to his left ear. Her temples throbbed as her mind tried to think of possibilities. She checked the clock on the wall, noting that the time read six forty-three. Her slumber had only lasted an hour. _An hour_, she thought. So much had happened during her "cat nap."

She swallowed, frightened, nervous, and fearful of what was to come.

"Where's Cragen?" she delivered a livid, boiling growl.

"Don't worry about him," the Beast sneered. His took his hand out from behind his back, and Olivia saw the gun in his hand. He then pulled duct tape out of his pocket, wrapped it around her mouth while chortling loudly. He sneered, "Make a peep and you're dead."

"Please," she pleaded as he inched the tape closer to her mouth and forced the tape onto her already chapped lips. Sweat poured from her face and armpits. Her heart sprinted, pounding strongly against her ribs. She struggled to breathe through her nose. He held the gun behind his back again and then tossed the sheet that had covered her body to the floor. He pointed to a pair of jeans and a T-shirt sitting on the chair where Cragen had once sat.

"Put those on." He latched his hands onto her shoulders and dragged her out of the bed. His tight and firm grip lowered on her arms. Her entire body began to shake with a shiver as her legs touched the cool air. Soreness stung throughout her entire body. His grip tightened around her wrist, where she noticed the rope burn imprint for the first time. _The rope strangled her wrists_, she quivered, recalling her nightmare. It was beginning to set in. The nightmares - they weren't mere nightmares. They were pieces of her cloaked memory.

Olivia trembled. He firmly held the gun to her temple, and she closed her eyes. He handed her the clothing. With his free hand, he ripped the hospital gown off her. She quickly tried to cover her breasts with her hands. She was completely humiliated; her body was totally exposed. The Beast cracked a smile full of ecstasy; he was relishing the moment, studying Olivia from head to toe as she attempted to cover her private parts. Her cheeks were scorching hot; she reached for the slacks and pulled them over her buttocks. She then took the blouse and wrapped it around her shoulders. She folded her arms together; her braless breasts sagged in her shirt. She pressed against them with her arms, trying to provide support for her drooping bosom.

"One last thing before we go," he smirked. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of scissors. "Chop chop." Her stomach tensed as he forced her onto the bed, held her down, and began to cut her hair. She squirmed, trying to escape his grasp, and the scissor nicked her forehead. Blood began to stream down her eye.

"Maybe you shouldn't fight me, huh?" he hissed. "Do as I say, and nobody has to lose blood." He forced his body weight against her and finished chopping off her locks of brown hair. "There," he beamed with considerable satisfaction for his endeavor. "Now, it's time to go, but first..." He reached behind him and found a bandage on the hospital room's desk. He patched her forehead and smiled, "Wouldn't want you to get blood all over my new shiny car."

* * *

Fin hadn't complied with Cragen's orders. He hadn't gone home, and he most certainly hadn't slept. Instead, he'd dropped Nick off at home then proceeded to drive aimlessly around the city while lost in thought.. He'd watched the sun rise while thinking about how he could have stopped this from happening. He was supposed to protect Olivia. She wasn't his main partner, but they'd worked together on numerous occasions. She was like a little sister to him. Ever since he'd stopped the attack at Sealview, he'd sensed a special connection between Olivia and him. He'd been able to save her then. He hadn't been there for her when she clearly needed him most.

He knew Liv was a big girl. She was more than capable of taking care of herself. Still, he somehow felt responsible for what had happened. He should have seen the signs. He should have been more insistent on Olivia coming out for drinks with him and Amanda. He should have at least offered to take her home and walk her to her door. Then, none of this would have happened.

He painfully recalled how he'd last seen her. She was lying on a stretcher. Her face was bruised, and a blanket covered her naked body. He remembered how painful it had been to hear Olivia moan in pain. He hadn't spoken to Cragen since he'd ordered them home. Had Olivia opened up yet?

He was working up the courage to drive to the hospital and see Liv. He was struggling, and he wasn't sure why. He'd worked sex crimes for over a decade now. Before that, he'd worked Narcotics. His own partner had been shot just a few weeks ago by the daughter of his old partner. He still blamed himself for what had happened to Amanda. He was humiliated.

_Amanda_, Fin's thoughts scampered, while he realized he hadn't spoken to his partner in hours. Had she gone home? He swallowed and dialed her number. She'd been the one who collared Lewis. _I should have called her sooner, _Fin thought, wanting to kick himself in the head. The idea of Lewis going after Amanda mingled in his thoughts.

When there was no answer on Amanda's cell phone, Fin started to panic. He did an urgent U-turn and began driving toward Amanda's neighborhood. He noted the quietness of the neighborhood as he drove toward Amanda's apartment complex. The college parties had died down, and all the kids were likely asleep. Though, finals were over for most students, so it was possible that several of the college students had gone home for the summer.

Fin noticed that he'd parked behind a department vehicle. That meant Amanda had to be home. Though, he couldn't imagine why she'd driven a department vehicle home. She'd rode to the hospital in the ambulance, as had Cragen. _Something's fishy, _Fin thought as he walked up to Amanda's apartment building and walked in. He found himself outside Amanda's door.

He knocked on the door. There was no answer. He toyed with the idea that she could be sleeping peacefully, but he didn't care at this point. He wiggled the handle. Naturally, it was locked. With all that had happened in the last twelve hours, he couldn't take any chances. He built up all the strength in his body and kicked down Amanda's door. _She's going to kill me, _he thought, but ensuring her safety was all he cared about at this time.

He crept through her apartment. Amanda had stayed with him for about a week after her sister had cleaned out her entire apartment. Fin could see that Amanda had done a nice job at re-designing her apartment. He smiled when he saw the pictures on her mantel of him and her. It was a selfie that had been taken on a late-night stakeout with her cell phone. He hadn't known she'd printed it out.

Fin closed in on her bedroom. He heard a rustle from inside, and he reached for his gun. Then, there was a loud bang. His first instinct was to kick the door open, and he held his gun out.

His eyes widened with what he saw.

Amanda was sitting upright on the bed in her underwear. Fin couldn't help but notice how perfect her body was. Her arms were toned, and he couldn't keep his eyes away from her fabulous abs. He noted her lacey bra and underwear. She did she always wear those under her clothes? Her golden blonde hair was let down past her shoulders. She could easily pass as one of those magazine models.

She wasn't alone. A man stirred in her bed, and Fin recognized him immediately. She was in the company of another detective whom Fin knew pretty well, Detective Joe Dumas. They'd worked Narcotics together. He'd also helped SVU on a few cases. Fin's eyes widened.

"Fin, what are you doing here?" Amanda gasped loudly. Her gun was next to her bed. "I heard a loud bang and I was gonna get dressed."

"I was coming to make sure you were safe. You know, there's a madman on the loose." His eyes shifted to Doom, whose eyes had just opened. "I-I didn't mean to interrupt anything here, but I gotta ask, what the fuck are you doing? One of our own is in the hospital, and you seem to think it's acceptable to call up your...fuck buddy...after Cragen sends us home to sleep?"

"It's not like that, Fin!" Amanda protested furiously. Her face flushed burnt red. "Even if it were, what I do in my private life is none of your business."

"I see," Fin murmured. He looked down, noticing men's jeans, underwear, and a T-shirt on the ground. That meant Doom was lying under the covers naked. Fin suddenly felt nauseous. "So, Doom, how long have you been banging my partner?"

Doom's face reddened.

"Just shut it, Fin. I ran into him at the hospital. He offered to take me to make sure I was safe," Amanda told her partner.

"And I insisted on staying to make sure she was all right. I didn't see you rushing over to make sure your partner was safe I hear there's a beast on the prowl who has a thing for women in law enforcement," Doom hissed.

"Oh, don't even go there," Fin growled, trying not to take Doom's words to heart. He knew that he should have checked on Amanda sooner. He'd been so lost in his thoughts. So desperate to find Lewis. He knew, technically, he should be thanking Doom for caring enough to ensure Amanda's safety. "What were you doing at the hospital anyway?"

Amanda and Doom looked at each other.

"Um, well, Brian's my...errr...brother," Doom answered, rubbing his eyes. Fin was stunned for a moment. He'd known Doom for all these years. He'd worked side-by-side Cassidy and Doom in Narcotics. Yet, he'd never known they were brothers. Doom then hissed, "Now, if you could go, I'd like to get dressed. I'm sorry if I've caused any trouble."

"No, I'm the one who should be apologizing," Fin insisted warmly. "Thanks for taking care of Amanda, Doom. It means a lot to me."

"Yeah, no problem," Doom smiled weakly, and Fin left Amanda's bedroom. He realized he'd have to put Amanda's door back together.

Shortly thereafter, Amanda and Doom entered the living room, both now fully clothed.

"Really, Fin, you had to knock down my door, huh?" Amanda rolled her eyes.

"I'll fix it, I promise. I'm sorry," Fin replied sincerely. "It'll take maybe ten minutes. I've fixed my share of doors in my lifetime. If you'll just point me to the right tools."

She showed him her tool box, which was admittedly small, but he found what he needed. It didn't take him long to fix the door at all.

"There you go, Amanda. Again, my apologies. Now, I'm gonna go to the hospital to see Liv. I haven't seen her since they took her away on the stretcher."

Admittedly, he'd been building up the courage to go see her. He was finding it challenging. He wanted to be there to support her, but the idea of seeing her hurt and bruised killed him. He didn't want to see her suffering.

"Uh, I'm coming, too," Amanda said. "When was the last time you were updated on her condition?"

"The last time I talked to Cragen, he told me that she was having a rape kit done and..." he trailed off, remembering the last piece. "You were in with her." That meant Amanda had been at the hospital pretty late. Suddenly, he felt even worse. She and Doom couldn't have been asleep long when he came barging in.

"So, I take it you're not updated on the latest," Amanda said slowly, meeting eyes with Doom again.

"What do you mean? How's Liv doing? And Brian? I've barely heard anything on his condition." Fin demanded answers.

"Fin, you might want to take a seat," Amanda offered. She had started brewing coffee while Fin was fixing her door. She poured three cups, handing him one. He took a seat at her kitchen table then set the coffee mug on the table. He stared impatiently at Amanda, waiting to hear what she was about to say. "Liv's got amnesia, Fin. She doesn't know who she is. Cragen spent the night with her, I believe. Couldn't imagine leaving her alone while she's disorientated and confused." Fin couldn't help but notice the tears Amanda was holding back. Doom gently brushed Amanda's blonde hair out of her face.

"Oh, My God," Fin's jaw dropped. "Amnesia? What do you mean she has amnesia?"

"She can't remember attack. She couldn't remember her name, or who I was, or who Brian or Cragen was. The doctors say there's a good chance she'll eventually get it back, since it's trauma induced. But you never know with these types of things, Fin," Amanda explained with sadness.

"That's fucking awful!" Fin cried. He left his coffee on the table and headed toward the door. He walked out the door, and Amanda and Doom followed after. Amanda took the passenger seat in his vehicle, while Doom followed behind them. On the way, Amanda explained Brian's condition to Fin.

* * *

Amanda was honestly humiliated by the fact Fin had walked in on Doom in her bed. She was ashamed that she'd allowed him to spend the night and let things go as far as they had. Somehow she'd lost control. What the hell had she been thinking? She knew that she was only giving Doom false hope. Unless, of course, she actually _did _harbor feelings for the man. Did she? She didn't know at this point. So much was going on in her life right now. She was nowhere in any stable condition for a relationship. Though, she had to admit, Doom did have a certain charm about him. She knew he had a good heart, but she didn't know if they were right for each other.

Her cell phone rang just moments before she and Fin arrived at the hospital. She recognized Barba's name on her caller identification.

"Hello?" she answered.

"What's the scoop, Rollins? Is what they're saying on the news true? Was Olivia really attacked in her home by Lewis and now you're searching for Lewis?"

_Who the fuck leaked this to the media? _Amanda thought. She wasn't surprised that it'd hit the morning news. However, she was irate that Olivia's name had been released to the public. That wasn't protocol. The NYPD always tried to keep the victim's identity anonymous for as long as possible. Someone had leaked information to the media.

"It's all true, Barba," Amanda confirmed then turned to Fin, whose eyes widened.

"That's ADA Barba?" Fin asked. She nodded, and he grabbed the phone from her hand. "Hey, Barba. It's Fin. I need a favor from you..." There was a long pause and Fin grunted, "Not THAT kind of favor. No time for jokes now, but seriously, we need a warrant for Mr. Lewis's defense attorney's house. Nick and I stopped at her place last night and there was no answer." Another pause. "Yes, I have reason to believe that she knows something about Lewis's whereabouts." Another pause. "How hard can it be to pull a few strings to get us a damn warrant, Barba? I ain't got time for playing games. This is Olivia Benson - THE Olivia Benson - we're talking about. Don't make me call Novak. She'll get it for me." Another pause. "You're kidding me?" Pause. "Thank you, sweetheart. I'll see you soon." He handed the phone back to Amanda, but by then Barba had hung up.

Amanda looked suspiciously at Fin. "What'd he say?"

"He's gonna get us the warrant and will meet us at the hospital to hand it over," Fin announced proudly with a grin on his face.

"I mean, what'd he say to you calling Novak?" Amanda chuckled. "And why'd you call him sweetheart?"

"Don't worry about it," Fin smirked as they parked. Doom parked right next to him. Amanda then guided the men through the hospital corridors to Olivia's hospital room.

They entered an empty room.

* * *

**A/N: Dun dun dun... If you're enjoying this story, make sure to check out my newest story "Saving Benson." **


	14. Her Disappearance

Darkness. The hollow room was chilled and eerie feeling. Goosebumps crawled up Captain Donald Cragen's arms and legs as he finally found consciousness. He was alone - or at least he thought he was. His head throbbed in pain, as if he had hit with a hard object. He was lying sideways on a cold tiled floor, and it wasn't long before he realized he couldn't move. His arms were tied together, as were his legs. The captain blinked his eyes several times, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the blackness. As his eyes began to adjust, he saw a human-shaped figure nearby, also lying sideways on the floor. He wasn't alone, he soon realized. The question became: who shared the cool floor with him?

The SVU captain tried to scream, but his attempts were muffled by the duct tape that covered his mouth. Not a soul would hear him. He fiddled with the rope that tied his wrists together. Donald Cragen tried to recall time that he had felt so weak and powerless. _Last fall. _He was bombarded with flashbacks from his days in jail.

He tried to remember what had happened to land him in his current position. The captain inhaled and exhaled the stale air through his nose. Slowly, he started to regain his memory. _Memory_. The word echoed in his head, followed by _Olivia_. The events of the night before recollected in Captain Cragen's thoughts. He remembered being wakened in the middle of the night, being informed that Olivia Benson had been attacked, and rushing to Olivia's apartment. He remembered riding with his silent detective to the hospital. He remembered the asswipe intern.

_She's lost. She's confused. She doesn't know who she is. _

Cragen swallowed. He'd planned to stay by Olivia's side all night. _What happened? _He'd reclined the hospital couch into a bed and had lain down. He remembered closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. It'd been a long two weeks with digging into William Lewis's past to get him off the street once and for all, to end the cycle of his crimes. Then, his lawyer had thrown a curveball at the ADA, getting her client off. _I sent her home. _His stomach tensed. _This is all my fault. _

At first he thought he was still dreaming. It had to be a nightmare. He had looked into the devil's eyes himself. William Lewis was staring with his notorious devilish smirk. _How the Hell had he gotten into Olivia's hospital room? _Cragen had opened his mouth to speak, but Lewis's reflexes were quick. It all happened so fast. Here he was. In a dark space. _How had he gotten here? _He didn't know. Was he still in the hospital? Where was Olivia? Was it Olivia who shared the floor with him?

_Oh, Liv, _Don thought of the woman who had become like a daughter to him. He remembered when he'd first met Olivia, back in 1999. She was a novice detective who had just been promoted from patrol. She'd SVU as her first assignment. Admittedly, he'd been skeptical of her when he'd first met her. Not of her ability to do the job, but if she could truly handle it. Olivia took her cases so personally, and he'd never met a detective who could match her compassion. She wasn't just a detective, she was an advocate and lioness for victims of sexual assault. He'd watched the job become her life. He never imagined something like this happening to her. His Olivia.

"_We don't get to pick the vic, Liv,"_ Don remembered telling Olivia. He repeated the words in his head to himself. That phrase had a whole new context now. _Who does get to pick the vic? _Don wondered a question he didn't know the answer to. Why Olivia? Why anyone? She'd done nothing but good her entire life. The captain's eyes swelled with tears. He'd worked sex crimes for fifteen years now, and nothing had prepared him for Olivia's attack. She wasn't just a detective. He wasn't just her commanding officer. She was family.

Soon, he heard footsteps, and that's when he noticed a dim light peering through a crack in the not-far distance. _Light from under the door. _

"She's gone!" he heard a female voice gasp. He immediately recognized the female voice. _Rollins. _

"Maybe Cragen told her the truth about Brian, and she went to visit him?" another familiar voice -_ Fin _- offered as an option for Liv's whereabouts. _No, no, no, _Cragen thought. He wiggled on the floor, trying to a sound so Amanda and Fin would become aware of his presence. He could feel the rope burning against his wrists. He wished that he'd told Olivia the truth about Brian. _What the hell was Rollins thinking? _He knew her intentions were well, but that was beside the point. Olivia was lost. Confused. And now potentially in the hands of Lewis again. _Come on, loosen up, _Cragen pleaded in his head, fiddling with his fingers and trying to pull his wrists apart. He felt so weak. So powerless. So frail.

"Yeah, perhaps," he heard Fin agree.

Then, there was a third voice.

"I'll go see if she's there. Want to come along, Amanda?"

_Joe Dumas. Cassidy's brother. _

"Um, actually...I need to use the restroom. Why don't you two go on without me? I'll stay here and try to track down a doctor or nurse," Amanda said. Her voice sounded closer.

"Yeah, all right. C'mon, Doom," said Fin.

Cragen heard footsteps coming toward him, and moments the door creaked as it opened. Light filled the room, and Don could see the plump woman who was lying on the floor next to him. It wasn't Olivia. She was dressed in blue scrubs, and it took Cragen only a moment longer to realize it was the same nurse who had taken Olivia's rape kit earlier. She, too, was tied with rope around her wrists and legs, and duct tape covered her mouth.

Amanda let out a loud cry. "Captain!" she shrieked, running to Don. "Oh, My God. What happened?" She began untying him and then ripped the tape off his mouth; a burning sensation plastered over his face.

"Lewis," he mouthed, and Amanda's jaw dropped. He looked at the nurse, who was still motionless. Amanda reached out her hand and helped him up. She placed his hand on his shoulder until his feet were steady on the ground. She then walked over to the nurse to take take her pulse.

"She's dead," Amanda whispered; her eyes were wide. She snapped her attention to Cragen. A dizzy spell hit him, and he felt his feet begin to wobble. Amanda raced from the nurse's body to support him. "Oh, God, Captain." she mouthed. "You need medical attention." She guided him into the hospital room and helped him sit down. _How much time has passed? _Cragen wondered, as he noticed the bright sun from outside was shining into the hospital room. It had been dark outside before.

She pulled out the hospital drawer and grabbed a gauze strip and quickly applied it to Cragen's blood forehead wound.

"Amanda," Cragen said, he could feel his voice growing stronger. "Don't worry about me. Find Lewis. He has Liv again."

* * *

Brian had been unable to sleep a wink all night. He'd lain awake, listening to his mother's snores. At least someone in the room had been able to sleep. His brain wouldn't turn off. He thought of Liv. How he desperately wanted to see her, but how he was frightened to, also. She didn't remember him. Amanda had lied to her about his condition. What if she saw him and didn't want him anymore? Nothing would ever be the same. Brian's face was tear-stained.

He wanted to hold her, to hug her, to kiss her. He wasn't even physically capable of hugging her. Sure, he knew that he could get an artificial limb, but it wouldn't be the same. His left arm was gone.

He'd waited fourteen years for her. She'd hurt him, and he'd welcomed her back into his life with open arms, knowing there was a chance she could hurt him again. _Brian, shut up, _he told himself. He was jumping to conclusions again. He was good at that, and it was his flaw to jump to conclusions that had put their relationship in its rocky position.

Part of him wished that they hadn't saved him. Why didn't Nick just leave him to die? It's not like Nick liked him anyway. After all, he hadn't shown his face at the hospital. Of course, he had a family to take care of. _A family, _echoed in Brian's head. Something he'd always wanted. When he was young, he used to dream about his future children. There was a point, back when he'd worked at SVU, that he'd always imagined Liv as the mother of his children. He used to fantasize, even after she'd denied him, about her declaring her love for him. After he'd left the unit, admittedly, he'd hoped she would call him and confess that she only didn't want a relationship with him because it compromised their jobs. Of course, that had never happened. It took thirteen years for her to come back to him. His dreams of having a family of his own had faded by then.

Brian was at his weakest after Ganzel murdered Carissa. He and Carissa often talked about getting married and having lots of children. Carissa was quite a few years younger than he was. Then, she was gone. His future was gone. Everything ripped from underneath him. Then, there was Olivia. He hadn't expected anything from her. Especially after how they'd parted thirteen years prior. But then she'd surprised him with that kiss in the hospital.

His life was massively fucked up. They'd talked about having kids, and had even started trying unintentionally. Well, rather, they'd stopped using protection. She'd stopped taking her birth control, and he didn't use condoms and always finished inside her. It had been a year, and Olivia wasn't pregnant. It wasn't something they discussed on a regular basis, but he was sure that it was in the back of her mind, like it was his.

He saw the way she looked at kids when they went to the park, or when she saw a child at a restaurant. She'd always give the kids a cute smile. She never failed to acknowledge the children's presence. She wanted a baby, and Brian knew that nobody deserved to be a mother more than Olivia. He remembered when she'd told him how she'd tried to apply for adoption but was denied. He'd wanted to suggest that they try to apply together, but he hadn't. The fact was, they both had busy careers. They had both been married to their jobs for so long. Though, Brian had worked nights at the Bronx Courthouse for eight months now. He was home during the day. Plus, they had plenty of friends who would be willing to help them out.

She was prone to coming up with excuses as to why she shouldn't be a parent, though. She used her parents as an example. Her mother had been an alcoholic; her father, a rapist.

"_Liv, you're not either of your parents," _he'd assured her. _"You fight for victims. You're the strongest woman I know." _

And that was the truth. Nobody was stronger than Olivia Benson, and that's what attracted him to her.

_I have to see her, _he thought.

Fin and Doom entered the room.

"I see you're awake," his brother commented.

"Don't know how you'd expect me to sleep," Brian shot back.

His mother stirred, and then she opened her eyes.

"Boys," she mumbled. "What's going on? Did you catch the bad guy?"

"No," Fin answered. "But we're working on it." He turned to Brian. "We're actually here looking for Liv. We were wondering if Cragen told her the truth and she'd come to see you."

Brian shook his head and said, "No, I haven't seen her yet. What do you mean, she's not in her room?" His heart started to race. _What the Hell? _

"That's why we thought she'd be here," Doom said. He took the chair next to Brian's bed side. "How are you holdin' up, bro?"

Brian rolled his eyes. "I'm not the one you should be worrying about," Brian said. "Find Liv." He reached and pushed his emergency button, which would alert a doctor or nurse. He had to get to the bottom of this.

Fin reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Tutuola. . ._What?_"

* * *

"Take Gil to visit your mother in Colombia. Please," Nick pleaded with Cynthia. He hadn't slept all night. Instead, he'd monitored the house all night, walking back and forth between Gil's an Cynthia's rooms. He had to make sure they were safe, even if it meant sacrificing his own sleep.

"You're crazy!" Cynthia protested, as she'd begun packing Gil's lunch. "There's a week before summer vacation, and you want me to pull Gil out of school for reasons you won't explain. I won't, Nick. I won't pull my son from his education. And it's not like I can leave work just like that."

"Look, it's for your own safety. There's a very bad man out on the streets. He's already attacked one of NYPD's finest, and he's threatened my family. You've got to go."

"Can't you just issue a protective detail on Gil and I, then? Why interfere with our lives?" Cynthia argued. She wasn't going to let this go easily. "Nick, you make plans with Gil and I, then you don't show up, and you don't call to tell us where you are or why you're not coming."

"Cynthia, my partner was attacked last night," Nick inhaled a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I tried to call, but by then you were already asleep. I didn't have a choice. I love you and Gil, and I'd do anything to protect you. But I need to be at work. I need to be tracking down this guy before he can hurt someone else. The thing is, he's smart. He's probably the smartest perp I've ever dealt with. You've gotta trust me, Cynthia."

Cynthia set down Gil's lunch. "All right. If you say so. I'll call my mom. Gil and I will catch the next flight to Colombia."

"Thank you," Nick whispered, gazing into Cynthia's sweet eyes. He pecked her forehead. His heart burned at the thought of anything happening to Cynthia or Gil. He'd never wanted to leave Cynthia in the first place. She'd been his first love, but then the drug bust had gone down and he'd been forced to leave. It was the most painful thing he'd ever done. Sometimes, he tried to imagine his life if he and Cynthia had stayed together. _There'd be no Zara, _the thought killed him. Maria had given him the light of his life, an adorable little girl. He understood that what happened was what was supposed to happen. He had cared, and still cared, deeply for Maria. Cynthia had been the one who had gotten away and then came back to him.

He'd spent a lot of time hating Brian, but it was because of Brian and his lawyer that he'd found Cynthia again, that he'd found Gil. Gil was the son Nick had always dreamed of having. He was a sweet, respectful young man, and Nick was honored to finally be part of his life. The thought of anything bad happening to his son killed him.

Telling Maria about Gil had been the final straw for Maria. It hadn't been easy for Nick. She'd been irate. She'd threatened to never allow Nick to see Zara again. The line had already been pretty thin, and she'd been keeping Zara from him. He'd threatened to call a lawyer. Then, behind Nick's back, Cynthia had called Maria. She hadn't told Nick what they'd talked about, but after that phone call, Maria agreed to allow Zara to spend every other weekend with him. That was better than nothing at all. He didn't speak to her now. They'd only had one week of this arrangement so far, and Cynthia and his mom had been the ones to drive to D.C. to pick up Zara. _This next weekend is my weekend, _he thought, praying that Lewis would be behind bars by then so he wouldn't have to risk bringing Maria into the situation.

Then another thought dawned on him. D.C. was nearly a four hour drive. That was out of Lewis's reach, right? His stomach tied in a knot, just as his cell phone started to ring.

He looked at the caller I.D. _Fin. _

"Tell me we have him."

"Nick, you're not going to believe this…"

Nick's heart fell into the pit of his stomach.

* * *

_The car was hot and stale. Where was she? Blackness filled her eyes. The man had blindfolded her. He'd handcuffed her hands to the seat. The radio was playing, and he was humming along..._

* * *

**A/N: I'm a little disappointed because Warren told me that Brian and Doom aren't brothers on the show, but I'm going to stick with my fanon. You can't have Scott and Dean in the same episode, who are brothers in real life and look practically EXACTLY the same, then deny they're related. In other news, I'm totally stoked for the season 15 premiere! 25 days and 4 hours to go as I'm typing this. So much writing to do, so little time! **


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